DAVID FOSTER WALLACE

[Verse 1]

I refuse to overdose on antidepressants

When single teenage girls tell me my rhymes aren't impressive

Especially when their mothers left the distinct impression

That for all these mics I'm flexing I get to fondle a freshman

Catch folks at my shows, mid-river jig

Drowning in toxins until their livers get big

Pre-show, I pre-game with green tea and Coltrane

End the night on a high note

I'm the conductor of the soul train

Afterwards I'm for sure going home alone

Until a harajuku girl asks if I'd rather read her a poem

I'm fairly certain Robert Frost was as sad as me

Unsure if the cause was from playing frat homes for free

I'm frantically searching for my niche

And telling my mogul virgin daughters I write rhymes with velvet tips

True true my lapel reeks of Aqua Velva Blue

My breast pocket has a few crushed Alka-Seltzers too

I get an upset stomach whenever I become a rapping pundit

Spitting the nerdiest raps at the burliest of frats

And wondering why these cats continue to hurriedly call me back

To perform tracks about various philosophical facts

Namely, I exist and you probably don't

And I'll ask you to buy my CD and you probably won't

I'm a career player who is exceptional at free throws

Crafting jams for brown weirdos telling them not to fear those

Who may not understand the appeal of Lando Calrissian

These people deserve our prayers and we should pity them

I scribble these words up in the death note

All my enemies developed was a cleft lip though

I wish every other rap guy had streptococcus

In bland hospital rooms they'd be left to mock us

And their miseries would soon become my profits

[Hook]

This is nerd-hop

I'm on that David Foster Wallace

So please hoist your wallets and

Turn out your pockets

[X4]

This is nerd-hop

[Verse 2]

I need you to pay me so I can buy shea butter for my curls

And a big jug of whey protein to impress some girls

These bars are tasty, be sure to grab another helping

And I'll EQ the track so you can hear me over the yelping

Behold as Cap'n Crunch prepares your lunch

Overloads your sense perceptions and delivers a donkey punch

The big gig in the sky is probably a state fair

I'll be there pretending it's a white collar affair

Your home girl can take a peek, it's a dollar to stare

I'm accepting volunteers to draft my Wikipedia page

As soon as D3 drops I'll be Nvidia's slave

That was a subtle shout out to my cats building PCs

My fell Yougate mage, PKs clap your hands please

These people buy their drinks at Starbucks

I wanted to pilot a Viper starfighter and be Starbuck

I'm spitting raps that make Cliff Huxtable proud

I'm borderline unstoppable now

[Hook]

This is nerd-hop

I'm on that David Foster Wallace

So please hoist your wallets and

Turn out your pockets

[X6]

This is nerd-hop