One Lonely Owl

[Verse 1]

In the middle of a bad dream I ask whoever is filming not to stop

I don't know what a nightmare is called when I am napping during the day

Or if I am awake

But I'm guessing it's really all the same

I enter this hole of self-pity

Which is really housing another hole

Of self loathing

Which reveals itself as a sea

Of utter contempt and I

Am now floating

The closest I came to knowing God was being caught in a rowing shell on the Fox River during a wicked storm

I looked into God's eyes, and they were gray--

Like my favorite woolen sweater, thrice worn and thrifted

I guess at heart, I'm a materialist

People often ask me what it's like to fly the coop

Budding ornithologists are weary of tired analogies

I want to be a writer, if given the chance I would write a novel for every pretty girl that let me kiss her

And another for the all-seeing eye of her big sister

Rain drops smooched my hair soft

Your kisses were distinct like welts from an airsoft

I've never wore a tie that didn't come from the thrift store

Before I was a vegetarian, I should've fished more

I wonder if the pizza in heaven tastes better than here

My spidey-sense tingles whenever Eddie Vedder is near

I've never done anything impressive because being remembered as a headline would be delineating

I've never really wanted to be remembered

When Robert died, I was in a bookstore that wasn't born yet

And all around me spun the narratives of other fallen heroes

Dust! Dust! Dust!

Dust on the tomes of the stories of yesterday;

Dust on the tombs of the heroes of today

Dust

Dust

Dust

I miss you

[Verse 2]

Do you like your raps sung by a prettier gent

Who fornicates copiously with a prosthetic wench?

I'll fade into oblivion when my prophecy's spent

In a megaplex guessing where my office copies were lent

Now I, never was ever the best break dancer

And you'll never hear my name on your CB police scanner

But I can hoist my Braveheart-esque banner to the moon

And create much havoc in a small-town, college kid's room

Hip hop's grand prize is a following of nasty MILFs

Who understitched their lonely son's Eagle Scout quilts

Which explains why the lad is so passive-aggressive

And hastily labeled my press kit massively unimpressive

*one breath*

[Verse 3]

I was farmed for my similarity to a Duracell battery

And quickly abandoned at a calculator factory

I'm no Wizard of Waverly

But I wear second hand goods like they were made for me

I went to school to become a philosopher

But dropped out to be a sober Kid Cudi imposter

With a spoon that's porous, I lounge in Siberia

Dining on borscht with Boris

My mind has the drive of an old Ford Taurus

Unfortunately my mind has no roads: it's just a forest

Rap's Kurt Vonnegut, Blurb Fontset

[Verse 4]

For you I would cross the infinite sea of midpoints

And eat french fries at your favorite cheeseburger joint

When we're old, please call me if you crack your diskjoint

I might be busy keeping these rhymes on point

Catch me rapping in your favorite restaurant's senior citizen line

Dropping wizened rhymes

About the fall of Byzantine

I said catch me rapping in your favorite restaurant's senior citizen line

Dropping wizened rhymes

About the fall of Byzantine

[Verse 5]

I'm an old man eating Zatarain's with cataracts

Worrying about matching my afghans with my stocking caps

A trip to the restroom can last me a couple hours

I remember when folks thought MCs had divine powers

Pretending we were Word Wizards and Conjurers;

TV told us we were murderers on the lam from their officers

In many ways I'm this culture's premiere historian

I told a young man at the bus stop and he said I was borin' him

Now I'm in the arts and crafts room at this old nursing home

Cutting out hearts from the same cardboard I danced upon

I couldn't possibly put to words how depressed I am

Every week I look forward to hearing the Funkmaster's Jam

I made some notes for what else I could blab about

The other night, I told my bed nurse I was swagged out

She put me in my place fast, responding

"Why can't you wipe your own ass?"

Damn