Belief

[Verse 1: Phil Elverum & Julie Doiron / Phil Elverum ]

Through all of my life

I waver back and forth between

A belief and not

Believing in anything

In any solid shape

The unfettered mind

A deeper understanding that holds nothing

That lets sounds come in the ear

And just pass through without deciding what it was

If it was a jet or a dragon

It was merely a sound without a name or a picture

It was every possible thing at once

[Verse 2: Phil Elverum / Phil Elverum & Julie Doiron]

I barely ever get to be in this state

Just quick flashes by surprise

When I'm like standing by a car

Squinting my eyes

Caught off guard and unpicturesque

I used to sing this one song all the time

That I made up to try to cut through

When I'd find myself caught up

Entranced in certainty

Staring at a hill

And it went:

"Let's get out of the romance"

Over and over

"Let's get out of the romance"

"Please can I go through this life unscared to see that nothing stays the same"

"No one knows anything."

[Verse 3: Phil Elverum & Julie Doiron]

When I was younger and didn't know

I used to walk around basically begging the sky

For some calamity to challenge my foundation

When I was young

So imagine what it was like to watch up close a loved one die

And then look into the pit

I lived on the edge of it

And had to stay there

Joanne Kyger said:

"We fight incredibly through a hideous mishmash of inheritance

Forgiving for deeper stamina

That we go on

The world always goes on

Breaking us with its changes

Until our form, exhausted, runs true."

[Verse 4: Phil Elverum / Phil Elverum & Julie Doiron]

Out of nowhere love returned

I saw what looked like a god who walks among us

I met her, we fell so in love

She is angelic, miraculous, I totally lost my mind

And poured everything into this sea, this ocean

And when I came to I saw my face in a store window's reflection

And there was fear behind those eyes

Now I'm back where I was when I was 20

Trying to stop clinging to a dream

And let an old idea of love dissipate

Back into formless rolling waves

Of discomfort and uncertainty

The true state of all things

I want to wade out into dark water

Hand in hand with you

I played this song for you and all you heard were the words

"Discomfort and uncertainty"

You asked "How do we get back to how it was?"

And that's when I started to know

That I might be in it alone

Devoted to an unknown

Homelessness enthroned

Us and the kids all wind-blown

Courageous as bone

Lying down in a storm

Steadfast, newborn

A house with no door

Exhausted form

In your eyes I found home

I believed you and dove

And oh my god

When we swam together for a little bit