Full Circle

I'm tearing apart at the seams
Still tryna mend these holes in my jeans
Leaving my skin to stain as I bleed
Give up, disintegrate, secede

Toss and turn in this concrete bed
And in the morning I'll try again
Pray for something to ease my dread
End up with trembling limbs instead

And this feels endless
As if there's not a solace in the world that can mend this
Everything will repeat in the end
It's not a matter of "if" it's "when"
This has happened before, it'll happen again

It comes in waves and I'm pulled below
It's not subjective, it's clinical
Drown myself in the undertow
Of all my imbalanced chemicals
And the cycle comes full circle
The cycle comes full circle again

So back to the needle and the thread
I've had enough of this blood I've bled
I wanna breathe life in my lungs again
Clear the fog that fucks my head

Without a struggle, there can't be progress
(Even though the weight is crushing me)
Without a struggle, there can't be progress
(Aim to kill, fight defeat)
'Til it comes around again

It comes in waves and I'm pulled below
It's not subjective, it's clinical
Drown myself in the undertow
Of all my imbalanced chemicals
And the cycle comes full circle
The cycle comes full circle again

'Cause I've had days that I swore would be my last
And spent months walking on this broken glass
Just to tip toe towards the thought that maybe someday I'd get back to who I used to be
To what I used to see in the mirror, instead of this misery
And to rid myself of this cloud that would rain down
And cause me to slip back into my apathy
But I know eventually I'm gonna come around
And maybe it won't be easy, but it'll be worth it, and the results'll be profound
Because instead of feeling cornered, the corners of my mouth will start to point up
Instead of being anchored down