can't let my guard down

I'd let my guard down
But you get so dramatic
I can't mess up you won't forget it
Like it's photographic
And if we fall out
I'm not sure if I'll manage
I think I'm codependent
Won't tell you, that's oversharing
I wish I could tell you why I'm mad
But I don't want you finding more red flags
And I know I can't open up my back
I can't write a love song
And when I try it feels wrong

Fill my lungs so I can't feel a thing
Haven't slept in days
My eyes peeled open from adrenaline
I wish I could be your sedative
How could I repair us
I can't put together sentences
I'll try to fix things by myself
By emulating someone else
I can't admit when I need help
But I will when it's over
I'll be waiting by the edge, of what I was built on
Contemplating if I let us go on too long

Why even try to waste my time
Still don't understand my mind
How could I be in your life
If I can't control mine

I'd let my guard down
But you get so dramatic
I can't mess up you won't forget it
Like it's photographic
And if we fall out
I'm not sure if I'll manage
I think I'm codependent
Won't tell you that's oversharing
I wish I could tell you why I'm mad
But I don't want you finding more red flags
And I know I can't open up my back
I can't write a love song
And when I try it feels wrong