I DON’T CARE

Everybody loves a winner (winner)
Yeah, I swear, they only love me when I'm not there
I know you trust me but I don't care
I swear, that I don't care
I know you love me but I don't care
You know I was born up at the top floor, uh
But I came out at a basement, uh
Mom wanted me to be a doctor, uh
But I came out as a patient, uh
Now I get a thousand DMs every day
I had a fan telling me that I saved him (for real)
Saying that he loving everything I make
And I couldn't take a single second out my day to make his (nah)
I'm just getting number (damn), every time I see my numbers
Every time I see the bottom
Every time we see each other (yeah)
Every time I pop a bottle
Every time I hit the lotto
Every time I see tomorrow
I just really want another
I'm just stuck between the gutter
In the rain, it ain't pain, that I'm feeling
But it's something in the same kinda vein
That I'm healing from, I wonder why I feel so little
'Cause I ain't been on the top I think I'm somewhere in the middle
I swear, they only love me when I'm not there (everybody, loves a winner, winner)
I know you trust me but I don't care
I swear, that I don't care
I know you love me but I don't care
So what, so uh, so a, hole in my soul, that shit looking like a donut (yeah)
You and me can laugh together
But I don't think that that's gonna put it back together
I've been living like I'm stuck under the covers
I know this'll make 'em proud, but I know they gon' need another
And another and another and another and another
Like I'm DJ Khaled with a mother fucking stutter ('kay, yeah)
Today I woke up, grabbed my phone to check the gram I started scrolling
Got a message from a dude without a profile picture
Shit was long as fuck, I thought that he was trolling
So I tried to swipe it out but accidentally must of opened
I said fuck it, guess I'll read it, now that's it already loaded
Had a sudden premonition, but it faded in the moment so I focused
Started reading, lemme try my best to quote it as he wrote it, it said
My homie was a huge fucking fan, used to play your shit every day
He struggled with depression and he told me that
The music was the thing that always set him straight
But I guess it must of gotten too much, for him
Killed himself a couple months back, it's felt so fucking long
But it reminded me of him when you popped up on my page
And I went and started listening to a couple songs so
Keep doing you bro
He followed up with a post from his friend
It was a screenshot of my track, I, clicked the profile
Full of R.I.P's in the comments, shit I couldn't even stomach
Looking at but all the sudden, in the instant everything felt grimmer
Read the name again and realized it sounded familiar
Clicked the DM, to see if he had talked to me before
Saw this was the same kid I consciously ignored a couple months ago
I swear, they only love me when I'm not there (everybody, loves a winner, winner)
I know you trust me but I don't care
I swear, that I don't care
I know you love me but I don't care
Apathy
There's no reason to be mad at me
That's just how it has to be