I Had A Heart

I walk on this frozen lake

Hoping to hit a spot that's weaker than I was

A year a half ago

I remember how Christmas used to be

Before she spat me out

And left me to roam this empty place

If I ran to the city sub lights, I'd still feel dull and worn out

It's time to start over and move on

My grandma keeps going on about the New Year

She says "you can't miss what you forget."

I'll spend the night slamming doors

Smoking outside my grandparents house

I thought Christmas was the time for us to feel loved

I feel like no one understands me anymore

Nothing is how it was last year

But it's cold and lonely, just like before

It's time to start over and move on

My grandma keeps going on about the New Year

She says "you can't miss what you forget."

I'll sit and wonder who she loves instead of me

If she told me who it was

I'm afraid it would rip my heart out

For my family to see

At least they'd know I had a heart