I, Vibrator

[Intro: Max Bemis]

Cool and collected, and I mean it this time!

[Verse 1: Max Bemis]

You botched her nut a jillion times

Now she's gonna get herself off

It may require an army of balls

Lined up by height, styles to your eye

Shot up in the stall with Sodium Pentothal

Bend over, drop trou and cough

Tonight, she's gonna get herself off

You fucked her days in a billion ways

She's gonna get herself off

Chuckled, "Max, my wife has a crush"

Like on- Like on me? Well, that's uncomfortable

Puking off the side of a cruise ship ridе

Being dumped three times, daily grind

Confusеd to see you don't cheat on a DuPree

Now she's gonna get herself off on me

[Chorus: Max Bemis and Sherri DuPree]

She shudders like an earthquake

(I'm gonna get myself off)

This Jew is finna vibrate

(I'm gonna get myself off)

Enraptured by her milkshake

(I'm gonna get myself off)

I'm the luckiest vibrator in the trough

To help her get herself off

Uh-huh, uh-huh

Uh-huh, huh, wooh!

[Verse 2]

A boy does what he must versus withering trust

That's the thin red line that couldn't make her bust

Sick of rutting in the depths of your ruts

When I was 16, having barely started a band

She received Chris Martin's kiss on her hand

All of you stanned the man with the gland

Now welcome to the clan!

[Chorus: Max Bemis and Sherri DuPree]

She shudders like an earthquake

(I'm gonna get myself off)

This Jew is finna vibrate

(I'm gonna get myself off)

Enraptured by her milkshake

(I'm gonna get myself off)

I'm the luckiest vibrator in the trough

To help her get herself off

[Verse 3: Brian Warren]

Love can't floss, awash in its sauce

She's gonna get herself off

Youse a bitch, youse a bitch, awash in your itch

Now she's gonna get herself off

Like the nation of dads that bruised her sad

She's gonna get herself off

Confused date rape for a dinner and a date

Well fuck you, now she's getting herself off

[Chorus: Max Bemis and Sherri DuPree]

She shudders like an earthquake

(I'm gonna get myself off)

This Jew is finna vibrate

(I'm gonna get myself off)

Enraptured by her milkshake

(I'm gonna get myself off)

I'm the luckiest vibrator in the trough

To help her get herself off

She's gonna get herself off

(She's gonna get herself off)

Yeah, she's gonna get herself off

(She's gonna get herself off)

She's gonna get herself off

(She's gonna get herself off)

She's gonna get herself off

[Outro: Sherri DuPree]

(I'm gonna get myself off)

(I'm gonna get myself off)