[Intro]
The stories you are about to hear are true
Names have been changed to protect the ignorant
This is "Bro So Mo"
(Lemony Snicket's!)
[Verse 1: Tech N9ne as Bro, Mo & Partner]
*phone ringing*
-Boy!
-Ay, yo, Mo, I got this song that I want you to end
It'll be suitable for your flow
It's called WWC
Kill everybody on it, even me
When you close it, make the globe trip
That'll know that you're frontal lobe sick
(A few years later)
*phone ringing*
-Yo, Mo, it's me again!
-Yeah!
-Strange Music, T-E-C-H-N-9-N-E again!
-What up?
-That last one you did was no joke
You spit at the opposite of a slowpoke
But this timе I want you to do a full verse
On my brand new song I call "So Dopе"
-Yeah that!
-And then I'm 'bout to be on TV
For the first time, lot of people gonna see me
But they can see we rockin' so dope
With the the blokes for the folks and the hoes gonna be skeet
-Bool, Blood, I'ma finally meet ya
Thank you for the feature but what about your little funny ***?
Really try'na peep her, tell me, did anybody beep her?
-Nah, she a good one, a keeper
(One week later)
*phone ringing*
-Yo, Mo!
-What's up?
-We rocked the spot, bro!
-Yeah we did
-Hold up, Mo, it's my partner
-Hello?
-What the fuck?
-What happened?
-Your boy Mo got drunk after the fucking show
And treated our execs' wives like hoes
-No...
[Chorus: Tech N9ne]
Some people you try to help but there's no way to remedy sickness
A series of unfortunate events, I call 'em Lemony Snicket's
Wicked
We up so they look small as Jiminy Cricket
A series of unfortunate events, I call 'em Lemony Snicket's
Niggas
[Verse 2: Tech N9ne as Bro, Mo & Partner]
(Two years later)
*phone ringing*
-Bro!
-Ay yo, Rittz told me that you got two spitters on your team
Named So, and young BO I know
-Yeah they bool
-Next time when you hop up in the city in a minute, let's shine
'cause I wanna meet the little homie So and check rhyme
And I hear the people sayin' he's the new Tech N9ne
-Yeah, a'ight!
-I'ma holler!
*phone ringing*
*phone ringing*
-Hello?
-Yeah, Partner, my bad, I missed your call
-It's no problem at all, just wanna know
What you thinkin' for support on the next tour?
-Oh, Mo and his clique, for sure!
-You mean, that drunk fuck? That...
-Yeah, man, but the fans feel him
And I've seen that he can kill 'em
Heard he gets 'em and his stans feel him
-Send me his digits!
-Okay, it's gotta say "Lemony Snicket's", 'cause he funny
I'm 'bout to call him and let him know you're about to hit him up, and tell him we're about to get money
(Ten minutes later)
*phone ringing*
-What's up, Partner?
-Fuckin' Mo already posted on our tour he's gonna go!
-And you ain't called him yet?
-No. Neh'mind...
*phone ringing*
-Bro!
-You jumped the gun, Mo, take that post down
Now I gotta frown, 'cause the tour is done fo'
-Oh...
[Chorus]
Some people you try to help but there's no way to remedy sickness
A series of unfortunate events, I call 'em Lemony Snicket's
Wicked
We up so they look small as Jiminy Cricket
A series of unfortunate events, I call 'em Lemony Snicket's
Niggas
[Verse 3: Tech N9ne as Bro, Mo & So]
(One year later)
*phone ringing*
-What's up?
-Mo?
-Yeah?
-Since we got us a few in the can
I wanna send one to your man So!
-Yeah that's bool
-Okay!
*phone ringing*
-Bro, I'm really try'na get it in with you with the flow!
-It's called "Bad Juju", comin' now, my nig, here we go!
(Two weeks later)
*phone ringing*
-So, they postin' jealousy
*phone ringing*
-So, the whole crew is embellishing
Saying you jumped ship over a song, no?
-It's on, bro!
-What you mean?
-He owe me 3K for my beats but he just sent me 187
And that shit is threatenin'!
-Okay, I'ma call him right now for the check-in
*phone ringing*
-Yep?
-Why you trippin'?
-Blood, that nigga talkin' hella loud on Facebook
I just wanna fight!
-I won't let him meet you for the fade
'cause I can't trust a single word that you say, plus...
-What?
-You sent him 187 when he's tourin' with us?
Now we gotta ban you, Mo, from the tourin' and such
When the lil' homie end up touched, it's up!
[Outro: Tech N9ne]
I was done with this
But lately he got his fans threatenin' us, talkin'
Guns and shit over music
Got a wonderful life and I won't lose it
To people so stupid 'cause I'm makin' bops
They can have the title "quicker with the chop"
While I'm at the top, I'm too up to shoot
I'd like to think this truth will make the bullshit STOP!
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