Smut

[Verse 1]

There's evil in your town

Though you may not know it's there

It never makes a sound

It just creeps up your underwear

You can find it in your restaurants

Underneath the tablecloth

You can find it in your old haunts

In a can of chicken broth

Sometimes it shows in daylight

For everyone to see

We gotta join the fight against S-M-U-T!

[Chorus]

S-M-U-T (Smut!)

It's seepin' in your mind

S-M-U-T (Smut-smut!)

So easy to find

S-M-U-T (Smutty smut!)

It's wicked and it's foul

S-M-U-T (Smuttitty smut!)

It's enough to make you howl

[Verse 2]

My daddy was a baker

His buns he liked to show

My mama was a Cosmo girl

She sucked up daddy's dough

My girlfriend is a call girl

She makes my carrot grow

She does it like a tractor

That's why they call her 'ho'

McDonald's have a hunk of meat

They call a quarter pound

Well, honey, I got the same damn thing

Why don't you stick around

[Chorus]

S-M-U-T (Smut!)

It's seepin' in your mind

S-M-U-T (Smut-smut!)

So easy to find

S-M-U-T (Smutty smut!)

It's wicked and it's foul

S-M-U-T (Smuttitty smut!)

It's enough to make you howl

[Interlude]

Good morning, boys and girls. Ah, I see you're alone. Well, turn your stereo up real loud, make yourself real small, and let your mind drift away to poetry corner

Are you small enough to read between the lines?

Well, here's a poem we can really get into:

I like little pussy

I like little pussy

Her coat is so warm

And if I don't hurt her

She'll do me no harm

So I'll not pull her tail

Nor drive her away

But pussy and I

Very gently will play

She shall sit by my side

And I'll give her some food

And she'll love me, because

I'm gentle and good

I'll pet little pussy, and then she will purr

And then show her things, for my kindness to her

I never will vex her, or make her displeased

Puss doesn't like to be worried or teased

I like little pussy... heheh

I like little pussy

I like little pussy

Her coat is so warm

And if I don't hurt her

She'll do me no harm

[Chorus]

S-M-U-T (Smut!)

It's seepin' in your mind

S-M-U-T (Smut-smut!)

So easy to find

S-M-U-T (Smutty smut!)

It's wicked and it's foul

S-M-U-T (Smuttitty smut!)

It's enough to make you howl

[Bridge]

Balls

Jugs

Knobs

Knockers

Peter

Dick

Screw!

Buns!

Nuts to you!

[Chorus]

S-M-U-T (Smut!)

It's seepin' in your mind

S-M-U-T (Smut-smut!)

So easy to find

S-M-U-T (Smutty smut!)

It's wicked and it's foul

S-M-U-T (Smuttitty smut!)

It's enough to make you howl