Such a Twat

[Verse 1]

Yeah, safe, man, you okay?

Just calling to ensure you got back in

Hope you coped yesterday

'Cause I felt well damn grim

But yeah, in the air on the plane

My stomach was turning

Man, I was hanging head-to-stead on the headrest in pain

Prayed away all my bad sins

Lost count of the plane chardonnays

Before the fourth or maybe the fifth

In future, I need to abstain

If only I'd had a bit of discipline

But worth every bit of spare change

Pure clowning down to the last drink

Hang on, let me slam the door, mate

Just pause that thought for a bit

[Chorus]

Why did I have to go

And do a stupid thing like that?

'Cause yeah, it felt like we were through though

But I could've ruined it, I'm such a twat

[Verse 2]

I've been pacing the place

Well paralysed since I got back in with my bags though

Yeah, I'm too aware that last night was way mad slack, I know

Carried in a gang I lost sight of Simone on her own back at home

Distracted from the fact it weren't right

Couldn't raise up the hand to know

Simone was moaning and that

About me playing away on this holiday

She was watching the box at her dad's house

There, preparing spliffs away

As I'm smacking glasses down at George Best's best session rate

Er, can you hear me?

Nah, sorry mate, you're fuzzy, man (Fucking hell)

I can't hear you

[Chorus]

Why did I have to go

And do a stupid thing like that?

'Cause yeah, it felt like we were through though

But I could've ruined it, I'm such a twat

[Verse 3]

Soz, I lost you for a minute

Yeah, yeah, I can hear you now

See, I mean that's the true thing though

I suppose I chose myself to allow

I was weak and stupid

But as far as I viewed, anyhow

She couldn't have been it for me

The only girl I'd ever go out with

I didn't want to waste my youth in a girl's house

To the sound of spliffs

And when she got in a mood with me

In that text about that thing

I just switched off the phone

When she started shouting

Coming to a conclusion

I couldn't be bothered with anymore rowing

[Chorus]

Why did I have to go

And do a stupid thing like that?

'Cause yeah, it felt like we were through though

But I could've ruined it, I'm such a twat

[Verse 4]

Nah, nah, nah

And them after-shots made me lose the plot

It all got a bit bizarre

And that incident with the ice-cream

I forgot, it all ended in our vodka

What I can remember is a blotch

I got a fat bruise on my arm

She weren't even much too hot

But she totally mugged me up like 'rah'

She knew exactly what she was doing

And it all went a bit too far

She was with that bloke in the white top

In McDonald's car park

And then she let me chat her up

Later on in that lovely little bar

Hello? Ah, fucking phones, man!

[Chorus]

Why did I have to go

And do a stupid thing like that?

'Cause yeah, it felt like we were through though

But I could've ruined it, I'm such a twat

[Verse 5]

Yeah, I think we got cut off

Yeah, I got crap reception in my house

I have to stand in a certain spot in my kitchen or it cuts out

Yeah, you know I was potty to even let myself allow it

I would if I could just swap what happened then for right now

And if she ever found out how far it got

It'd be more than just a row

This whole thing just got on top

But it's her that I want, no doubt

So in a way it's helped me doing wrong

I know I've fucked up now

This is where that dodgy shit stops

She's just gotta not find out

[Chorus]

Why did I have to go

And do a stupid thing like that?

'Cause yeah, it felt like we were through though

But I could've ruined it, I'm such a twat

Why did I have to go

And do a stupid thing like that?

'Cause yeah, it felt like we were through though

But I could've ruined it, I'm such a twat