Dude, What Is a Land Pirate?

Well sweetheart, you don't understand

Pirates weren't made to dance

We just weren't made for it

We slit throats, we don't cut rugs

But if it means that much

I guess that I could take a chance

We'll both go, we'll both go

I won't ruin your night

You know how I get into knife-fights

(What if my leg breaks while we dance?)

Then, we'll both go down

We just weren't made for this

We just weren't made for this

So I paint my peg leg for the prom

I've been practicing my dance moves all year long

So you'd better keep a look out

In case I go for second base with my hook out

I went out and got a tux

And a limo for the both of us

I pulled up trying to impress

(We'll both go, we'll both go)

Despite how hard I tried

You cried and ruined our night

Just cause my bird shit on your dress

We won't fucking go down

(We spike punch with barrels of rum

We loot and steal to seal the deal.)

Say what you will about me and how I do things

But don't you open your mouth about Polly

I guess we made a scene cause in come the police

Waving guns and asking me to leave

We won't even try to say goodnight

Cause we know that you won't apologize

We won't even try to say goodnight

Cause we know that you still think you're right

And we mean the things we say

We say just what we mean

So I paint my peg leg for the prom

I've been practicing my dance moves all year long

So you'd better keep a look out

In case I go for the third base with my hook out