If and When I Die

[Chris]

No one is invincible, no one is immortal, these are the rules

Fireworks have scared me shitless for three years now

Easier to blame it on neuroses than admit that everything loud and sudden scares me

But I found out that I still love the sight of them

When the light of the setting September sun came through the leaves

In scattered shards as I was driving down the highway with my secrets

No one is invincible, no one is immortal

This time of year always reminds me of Mitch at noon in the shade, there’s still dew on the grass

The leaves are trying on the coats they’ll wear to their funerals and without knowing it, as if it’s coded into me, I start to listen to ‘People Without End’

The ways in which one leaves a place and the way a ghost becomes a part of you

And some days this reminds me more of Kyle than anything else

And the times we spent wishing for the past

I think I’m through with that now

I’ve got holes in me big enough that sometimes I can barely stay afloat

But I’m starting to find that nothingness has the potential to be filled with anything that our minds can imagine

Everyone here’s story has been everyone here’s story since the Big Bang

And I’m not talking about your parents fucking, or their parents’ parents’ parents fucking

I’m talking about that fact that the things inside of you, the ones that matter, cannot be created or destroyed anymore

Not since this universe started and not until it fucking ends

That’s how long we’re going to live

So when my body chooses to become something more, burn it

Let the liquid in me dry up

Let it crack like the leaves coming through the driveway of the house I grew up in

Divide me among the people I’ve loved

And ask them this

On the day they find a place where stars are safe from everything but the brightness of the moon, scatter my ashes there

So that that from which I came can witness that which I’ve become

No one is invincible, everyone is immortal

No one is invincible, everyone is immortal

[Dave]

If false and naive ideals

Will keep us working

Sustained by people like you

Like a televised old story

Maybe that is what one is meant to have

Sucking from the maimed and the crazed