Responsibility and Structure

I ran away,
But it saved my life.
And the lights outside my window,
Help me sleep at night.
'Cause when the lights come on,
It all comes crashing in.
Just how lucky I am,
To still be breathing in.
And the footsteps as I walk towards my front door.
The key slips,
The lock scratched,
The sound so familiar.
I traded in my jacket,
For a newfound sense of freedom,
'Cause winters, they don't,
Scare me like the used to anymore.
And I sold my guitar,
So I don't really write so much anymore.
And I've kind of grown accustomed,
To all the noises in my head.
I gave up searching,
I think I'm happy with who I am.
Even though I chewed up,
And spat out my family and friends.
I've still got my whole,
To make it up and make amends.
I know it's not much to you,
But maybe you could understand.
I breathe in,
This city.
And look at what I've started,
I think I've spent enough hours,
Killing myself,
Over what I thought you saw in me.
And when I leave,
I try to keep it off my mind.
That the rains back home,
Swallowed all I left behind.
It's like I'm standing on the edge of a life to be,
And whatever happens next was always up to me.
No longer will I compare myself,
To establish my self-worth.