Kick Monday

[Verse 1: Wax]

I'm coming hard for Friday, like a pedophile

At his computer desk, watching Rebecca smile

I go the extra mile, the marathon's 27th mile

Then I hit the ice cold beverage aisle

I got a cast-iron liver

And I would rather drown my sorrows than cry a river

I use my brain like you use a plane flight ticket

Now I'm in a place where all the fences are white picket

The only way it might get disturbing

Is if you're bothered by the sound of light cricket chirping

I just let it soak in like Robitussen

And about the fast-paced rat race there's no discussion

I'm just trying to get into the proper mood

Remix of everyday life, chopped and screwed

What can I do to get the weekdays behind me?

Watsky, remind me

Thank you, kindly

[Chorus]

Kick Monday in the nutsack

Wedgie Wednesday's butt crack

I'm coming hard for Friday

And if you're not, get the fuck back

Kick Monday in the nutsack

Wedgie Wednesday's butt crack

I'm coming hard for Friday

And if you're not, get the fuck back

[Verse 2: Watsky]

Compared to mine, all testicles, hecka small (tiny)

Mine crack walls like a wrecking ball (shiny)

When my checkered drawers fall, y'all see ornaments

Fit for a porno flick

Time to deck the halls

I'm glad it's all finished, the week is all bidness

But now I'm chilling, sprawled out with a tall Guinness (call 'em)

I'm gonna set the world record for the funnest time ever

Had on the planet, so everybody call Guinness

I swear a lot, this ain't Fisher-Price

If I'm a bad influence, then here's the great advice:

Kids! Don't be a dickweed!

Appreciate the shit out of the present moment and be fucking nice!

I whistle weird for the tune of it

If they all did, it'd ruin it

We spent two months on this here bluegrass-folk rock-hip hop album

Because we really felt like doing it!

So everybody

[Chorus]

Kick Monday in the nutsack

Wedgie Wednesday's butt crack

I'm coming hard for Friday

And if you're not, get the fuck back

Kick Monday in the nutsack

Wedgie Wednesday's butt crack

I'm coming hard for Friday

And if you're not, get the fuck back

[Verse 3: Watsky]

I'm an Amurican, I put my work in

And when my work's done, it's time for perking

Hey, let's invite the vultures down to have a drink

They must be getting tired doing all that circling

Cause it's the world's end

We're overheat-elated!

And, from what I hear, we're also over-people-ated

So, there's no room

Or we'll just explode soon

So, let's get inebriated

And forget what we created

So I've been thinking

We should have a big party

For all humans, and even women (Ladies)

For the dumb Southerners, the lazy Mexicans

The A-rabs, and the coloreds and their peckers, and

The cheap Jews, which is me, too

I'll even treat you! (L'chaim!)

But, just this once, 'cause nothing's free, dude

And when the fiery end comes, we'll burn up quicker

Because we're full of liquor

So everybody...

[Outro]

Kick Monday in the nutsack

Don't be afraid, just wind up and do it

Kick Monday in the nutsack

Get a running start, come on now, son

Kick Monday in the nutsack

Family jewels in the family jewels, come on

Kick Monday in the nutsack

Don't be afraid, it's the American Dream

Kick Monday in the nutsack

Tuesday too, why the hell not

Kick Monday in the nutsack

And Wednesday gets, a wedgie, everybody

Kick Monday in the nutsack

Come on, come on, come on, with steel toe boots

Kick Monday in the nutsack

With your Air Jordans

Kick Monday in the nutsack

Not if you're wearing Crocs, though, you can get the fuck out of here

Kick Monday in the nutsack

You're a bad mothe- pssh, ah who cares

Kick Monday in the nutsack