Hooker Jon

[Verse 1] Come up from the tub all wild, look like a four-eyed pig from Australia You're like a wine-soaked varicose genitalia You'll be a sloth-like crook who likes to fail to presevere Give me a boat, Bermuda tricycle, I'll disappear Watch what you say 'cause I'll leave you in the woods near the horse And we'll leave you there naked and let nature takes its course [Chorus] Hooker, you think that I'm a john as I'm movin' on John-John, you think that I'm a hooker and you try to book her Everybody's wrong about what turns me on He thinks that I'm a hooker, she thinks that I'm a john Okay [Verse 2] Been drivin' all night and day just tryin' to find Route 66 All I found was a couple teenage boys tryin' to sell their dicks Ate 4,448 Flintstones Kids to get my fix We can dock our foreskins and get a real viscous mix When my first son turns seven I'm gonna give him LSD and see what he says Then I'll toss him to his mama and let him suck on some breasts [Chorus] Hooker, you think that I'm a john as I'm movin' on John-John, you think that I'm a hooker and you try to book her Everybody's wrong about what turns me on He thinks that I'm a hooker, she thinks that I'm a john (*Burp*) Okay [Verse 3] You're like a Hoodoo fan, I mean oatmeal and rye You're like the Prince of Darkness doing patty cakes in the pig sty You'll be watchin' reruns of Wheel of Fortune when apocalypse comes Your brain'll be expandin' when God's kingdom comes You're like a retarded Isaac Newton in Johnny Appleseed's mind Got a concussion from an apple, make him clueless in a nine-to-five grind [Chorus] Hooker, you think that I'm a john as I'm movin' on John-John, you think that I'm a hooker and you try to book her Everybody's wrong about what turns me on He thinks that I'm a hooker, she thinks that I'm a john