Hooker Jon

[Verse 1]

Come up from the tub all wild, look like a four-eyed pig from Australia

You're like a wine-soaked varicose genitalia

You'll be a sloth-like crook who likes to fail to presevere

Give me a boat, Bermuda tricycle, I'll disappear

Watch what you say 'cause I'll leave you in the woods near the horse

And we'll leave you there naked and let nature takes its course

[Chorus]

Hooker, you think that I'm a john as I'm movin' on

John-John, you think that I'm a hooker and you try to book her

Everybody's wrong about what turns me on

He thinks that I'm a hooker, she thinks that I'm a john

Okay

[Verse 2]

Been drivin' all night and day just tryin' to find Route 66

All I found was a couple teenage boys tryin' to sell their dicks

Ate 4,448 Flintstones Kids to get my fix

We can dock our foreskins and get a real viscous mix

When my first son turns seven I'm gonna give him LSD and see what he says

Then I'll toss him to his mama and let him suck on some breasts

[Chorus]

Hooker, you think that I'm a john as I'm movin' on

John-John, you think that I'm a hooker and you try to book her

Everybody's wrong about what turns me on

He thinks that I'm a hooker, she thinks that I'm a john

(*Burp*) Okay

[Verse 3]

You're like a Hoodoo fan, I mean oatmeal and rye

You're like the Prince of Darkness doing patty cakes in the pig sty

You'll be watchin' reruns of Wheel of Fortune when apocalypse comes

Your brain'll be expandin' when God's kingdom comes

You're like a retarded Isaac Newton in Johnny Appleseed's mind

Got a concussion from an apple, make him clueless in a nine-to-five grind

[Chorus]

Hooker, you think that I'm a john as I'm movin' on

John-John, you think that I'm a hooker and you try to book her

Everybody's wrong about what turns me on

He thinks that I'm a hooker, she thinks that I'm a john