Johnny 99

[Verse 1] Well, they closed down the auto plant In Mahwah late last month Ralph went out lookin' for a job But he couldn't find none He came home too drunk From mixin' Tanqueray and wine He got a gun, shot a night clerk – Now they call him Johnny 99 [Verse 2] Down in the part of town Where when you hit a red light, you don't stop Johnny's wavin' his gun around And threatenin' to blow his top When an off-duty cop snuck up on him from behind Out in front of the Club Tip Top,  They slapped the cuffs on Johnny 99 [Verse 3] Well, the city supplied a public defender But the judge was Mean John Brown He came into the courtroom and stared poor Johnny down "Well, the evidence is clear  Gonna let the sentence, son, fit the crime Prison for 98 and a year And we'll call it even, Johnny 99" [Verse 4] A fistfight broke out in the courtroom,  They had to drag Johnny's girl away His mama stood up and shouted "Judge, don't take my boy this way" "Well, son, you got any statement you'd like to make Before the bailiff comes to forever take you away?" [Verse 5] "Now, judge, judge, I got debts no honest man could pay The bank was holdin' my mortgage and takin' my house away Now I ain't sayin' that made me an innocent man But it was more than all this that put that gun in my hand [Verse 6] Well, Your Honor, I do believe I'd be better off dead And if you can take a man's life for the thoughts that's in his head Then won't you sit back in that chair And think it over, judge, one more time? And let 'em shave off my hair And put me on that execution line" (Woo!)