Johnny 99

[Verse 1]

Well, they closed down the auto plant

In Mahwah late last month

Ralph went out lookin' for a job

But he couldn't find none

He came home too drunk

From mixin' Tanqueray and wine

He got a gun, shot a night clerk –

Now they call him Johnny 99

[Verse 2]

Down in the part of town

Where when you hit a red light, you don't stop

Johnny's wavin' his gun around

And threatenin' to blow his top

When an off-duty cop snuck up on him from behind

Out in front of the Club Tip Top, 

They slapped the cuffs on Johnny 99

[Verse 3]

Well, the city supplied a public defender

But the judge was Mean John Brown

He came into the courtroom and stared poor Johnny down

"Well, the evidence is clear 

Gonna let the sentence, son, fit the crime

Prison for 98 and a year

And we'll call it even, Johnny 99"

[Verse 4]

A fistfight broke out in the courtroom, 

They had to drag Johnny's girl away

His mama stood up and shouted

"Judge, don't take my boy this way"

"Well, son, you got any statement you'd like to make

Before the bailiff comes to forever take you away?"

[Verse 5]

"Now, judge, judge, I got debts no honest man could pay

The bank was holdin' my mortgage and takin' my house away

Now I ain't sayin' that made me an innocent man

But it was more than all this that put that gun in my hand

[Verse 6]

Well, Your Honor, I do believe I'd be better off dead

And if you can take a man's life for the thoughts that's in his head

Then won't you sit back in that chair

And think it over, judge, one more time?

And let 'em shave off my hair

And put me on that execution line" (Woo!)