How To Disappear

It's a slow ride, slipping out of focus A steady decline, every day's the same It aches until you tell yourself You can't feel it anymore But it makes your shadow heavy As you drag it on the floor And you're happy til you're not Then you're unsure if you ever were "You're looking tired lately Is it getting hard to hold yourself together?" The vespertine reluctance to stay awake And engage with anything that you say Are you keeping count of how often I dissociate When asked "is everything okay?" When all I wanna know is how to disappear Without leaving you to worry about me It hurts to say, but I'm getting tired Of running away from the same pain Sorry if I've been avoiding the question Sorry if I've been avoiding the question What if you woke up to an empty bed And a note that said "Is it disregard or discontent that lures the sparrow to its end?" Sharp despair laid bare in the sunlight golden Fractured glass on an afternoon of grief unspoken Lately I haven't been myself at all Sorry if I've been avoiding the question I haven't been myself at all Sorry if I've been avoiding the question I haven't been myself at all When all I wanna know is how to disappear Without leaving you to worry about me It hurts to say, but I'm getting tired Of running away from the same pain "Is everything okay?" (Is everything okay, everything okay?) "Is everything okay?" (Is everything okay, everything okay?) "Is everything okay?" (Is everything okay, everything okay?) "Is everything okay?" (Is everything okay, everything okay?) Sorry if I've been avoiding the question Sorry if I've been avoiding the question When all I wanna know is how to disappear It's all I wanna know When all I wanna know is how to disappear It's all I wanna know