Reporting live outside of the well-known building, Bang Bros capital
Where we have received multiple reports from all over the U.S.
About sightings of a figure named, "Big Dick Randy"
He is popping up in random areas, just stalking people
And putting up posters of asses being ripped off
He is also writing on random walls the words
"Randy is coming for that ass and candy, nigga"
Everyone, please try to be safe on Halloween
Although it looks like nowhere is safe
Man, it's 2023 and Big Dick Randy coming back
And on Halloween night he gon' be looking for a snack
If you see that nigga coming, better run like you in track
He a big scary nigga, man, he seven foot and black
He don't joke around, he don't fucking play
He gon' run off with yo' butt and eat it up like a buffet
You'll be trick or treating hanging out, thinking it's okay
And then he'll run up on you snatch yo' butt and run the other way
And there's niggas out here thinking it's a fucking game
Since the day that Randy got me, I ain't been the fucking same
Snatch me up and made me disappear just like he David Blane
That nigga ever get you this the only way to get away
Look him in the face, and start moaning out his fucking name
He gon' start shaking, break his grip and then you run away
He gon' keep that candy, you'll be lucky to take some away
Digbar shut the fuck up
I'm about to have some fun today (big Dick Randy?)
DigBar capping hard, there ain't no escapin' me
He ain't get away, he in my lap right now, I'm taking cheeks
Halloween, I'm on the US tour and I'll be in yo' city
Snatching off that butt and taking candy, I'ma show no pity
What the fuck? Big Dick Randy just broke in the goddamn studio
He lifted me out the chair, with one hand grabbing my booty hole
He hopped on the damn mic and said two lines and then he left a note
I'ma read that bitch to y'all real quick, this what he fucking wrote
"Dear all trick-or-treaters, I'm coming back for that ass
If I ain't get that butt last year then this year it's getting smashed
I ain't pulling up in no granny costume, that shit hard to run in
I'm pulling up in a tracksuit and we really gon' get this fun in"
What the fuck? What that mean?
Big Dick Randy coming back on Halloween?
And ain't nobody safe, man, not even you and me
Randy finna strike again
I'll tell y'all about it when I drop part three on Halloween
Lyrics provided by LRCLIB
