Knocked Up

I chose my confirmation name of Catherine when I was ten Size ten, ten stone, already full of some kind of demons Pre-teen, lack of self-esteem, not much longer Before I was learning how to fuck boys Ten stories up with a strange boy Lucky I didn't get knocked up Didn't get knocked up We're all talking about owning our bodies We're all feeling our femininity like it's godly I believe us, we can all make peace with ourselves with enough love But there's so much wrapped up in the way that we were brought up Well, you didn't mean it but you were brought up In a world that reminds me that I'm a girl And I can't come first so I gotta play catch up Childhood leaves us with a story And if we don't find the words to voice it Then we keep going 'round the same old story Poor me, ignore me, it's boring Don't wanna pass this onto a small me Ten floors up with a story Lucky I didn't get knocked up Didn't get knocked up I light a candle for my old self I light a candle for my old shame I stroke her hair and I tell her That I love her all the same Eating secretly was my shame One way or another we're all addicted to our pain My pain, my shame is my weight gain I keep eating sugar tryna fill up spaces that sugar can't find That much sugar gets you feeling high Gets you floating out your mind Gets you going out your body 'cause your body wants to hide But Jameela Jamil said "The issue isn't mine" That our shame was designed to alienate our kind Making problems out of women's bodies is lucrative Because desire creates the perfect consumerist And it's true that this world is tough and I coulda had a girl Thank God I didn't get knocked up I light a candle for my old self I light a candle for my old shame I stroke her hair and I tell her That I love her all the same I love her, I love her I love her all the same I love her, I love her I love her all the same I love her, I love her I love her all the same