Knocked Up

I chose my confirmation name of Catherine when I was ten
Size ten, ten stone, already full of some kind of demons
Pre-teen, lack of self-esteem, not much longer
Before I was learning how to fuck boys
Ten stories up with a strange boy

Lucky I didn't get knocked up
Didn't get knocked up

We're all talking about owning our bodies
We're all feeling our femininity like it's godly
I believe us, we can all make peace with ourselves with enough love
But there's so much wrapped up in the way that we were brought up
Well, you didn't mean it but you were brought up
In a world that reminds me that I'm a girl
And I can't come first so I gotta play catch up

Childhood leaves us with a story
And if we don't find the words to voice it
Then we keep going 'round the same old story
Poor me, ignore me, it's boring
Don't wanna pass this onto a small me
Ten floors up with a story

Lucky I didn't get knocked up
Didn't get knocked up

I light a candle for my old self
I light a candle for my old shame
I stroke her hair and I tell her
That I love her all the same

Eating secretly was my shame
One way or another we're all addicted to our pain
My pain, my shame is my weight gain
I keep eating sugar tryna fill up spaces that sugar can't find
That much sugar gets you feeling high
Gets you floating out your mind
Gets you going out your body 'cause your body wants to hide

But Jameela Jamil said "The issue isn't mine"
That our shame was designed to alienate our kind
Making problems out of women's bodies is lucrative
Because desire creates the perfect consumerist
And it's true that this world is tough and I coulda had a girl
Thank God I didn't get knocked up

I light a candle for my old self
I light a candle for my old shame
I stroke her hair and I tell her
That I love her all the same

I love her, I love her
I love her all the same
I love her, I love her
I love her all the same
I love her, I love her
I love her all the same