A ballad

I don't know why I'm up here I mean, on stage So many years, a whole life on my dead case In and out of spotlights washing over me Plugging in instruments, no monitors A couple is kissing by the exit door A bigger part of me wants to come down, but if I do I can't come, come back up Hold my mic stand, push things around Roll in the cables, send in the sounds I couldn't tell you why I keep singing, only how You said your tinnitus Is a note through your head Singing a jet stream from alive to dead Seeing to seer, I summon the dead back To my, my body I open my mouth, sing to the light Pick the darkest vowel, "A" for "alright" It's so dumb and so me to think this means anything But it must be better to die in sound than to die dead Dead, right? Can you hear my voice? I don't know why I'm up here I mean, on stage It's the only page