Middle Man

[Verse 1] I was sitting in a diner with a girl named Flo She wouldn't say yes, she couldn't say no She said, "Darling, can I get a middle man?" She was engaged to a fellow on the layaway plan Carried all her money in a coffee can She said, "Darling, can I get a middle man?" [Bridge] The cook looked over with a short order face Dropped a fork and he saw Flo's legs Straightened his apron and burnt my eggs I got competition everywhere I go these days [Verse 2] Leaning on the jukebox, lookin' real good Like Natalie Wood on a Pontiac hood I said, "Darling, I think I need a little hand You see, I've seen my downs, I've seen my ups I seen miniature dogs in coffee cups But darling, I ain't never seen a middle man" [Bridge] Flo talked slow like real wet paint Said, "A middle man's there when the other ones ain't" He's got a left-handed manner that leans to the right Sleeps all day and keeps it up all night" [Verse 3] I got an aunt in Ohio, a boat that won't row Some veterans insurance and nowhere to go Darling, can I be your middle man? [Bridge] If I could get the money in that coffee can I could open me up a lemonade stand Send all the kids off to Pakistan Make Flo happy, if I can [Verse 4] Jerry Mahoney and Johnny B. Goode Gonna buy me a house in Hollywood Darling, I think I got the perfect plan We'll save half a dollars and sell 'em to France Buy us a record and learn how to dance And darling, I'll always be your middle Darling, go buy a griddle Darling, I wanna be your middle man