I Was Alive Back Then

All my lives are coming through And, even though there isn't room I save seats for my selves Invite them in, wish them well The way I feel & the way I guess I felt I was 23 & crazy Frightened, overwhelmed, and angry You said, "That's not how I see you You treat yourself unfairly Don't treat yourself unfairly." I was alive back then I remember when It was Christmas We were wrestlers Bay Ridge Parkway Our apartment We were fast & best friends We were just little kids You were Lenny Dykstra I was Wally Backman This was before I got so lonely With my lovers, with my family Scared of living Scared of dying Scared of being happy I couldn't let myself be happy I was alive back then I was alive back then I was alive back then I remember when I was 20 Kolankowski Asked me who I thought I'd marry I answered your name Years before we would date Years before he'd officiate our wedding You never "know" You're never "ready" But all your fear is just confetti Let it blow all 'round your bedroom When it gets too heavy Don't let it get too heavy I was alive back then I was alive back then I was alive back then No one asks you if you're ready When they're handing you the baby My mother said, "Son, you can't imagine You'll have your mind blown, honey You'll be crazy in love, honey." I was alive back then I was alive back then I was alive back then I remember when I was alive back then Now, I am again