Both Ways

You can't be the bully Then conveniently claim you're oppressed Can't blow people's countries apart And demand that they clean up the mess Can't be a bank baron oligarch Then plead, "brother, spare me a dime?" You can't be a blood-addict vampire And insist the real monster's outside [Chorus] Unless, of course, you can Because that's me, yeah that's me I want it both ways in the land of the free You can't preach "all lives are equal... Unless they're immigrant, women, or black." You can't weaponize Jesus And be shocked when the heathens shoot back 'Cause Christ was a radical But not tin the direction you point him If you dragged him to a megachurch It's doubtful he'd see much worth anointing [Chorus] Unless, of course, he's changed More like me; yeah, like me We have it both ways in the land of the free Our destiny, made manifest: Oblivion, it's endless Imagine our surprise when We actually had to pick up the check! [Chorus] Yeah, that's me You and me We'll get it both ways in the land of the free