Override

Pins & needles in the heart of my heart And a typewritten lowercase “e.” at the crook of my arm Heavy lifting and I’m stuck with myself But it’s purely elective engagement with everyone else Detach your shadow “Go Fish!” your tarot Fling your unnameable fate at a crease in the wall Trace your timeline to the moment you flinched And gently suggest that you don’t let it happen again I need an override Queasy listening to the pace of your breath Counting the credible pathways to peace that I’ve left Sea of eggshell and your blood on my hands I’m wired to wait but I’ve waited as long as I can Kick the tires Pile the pyre Float your unfaceable fate at the edge of the earth Pin your timeline to the safest you’ve felt And then strongly insist you won’t settle for anything else I need an override No more future tripping No more bleeding out the history No more arguing the answer When the answer isn’t easy No conditional forgiveness No more narrative addiction No more paying with my present They can’t take what I don’t let them I need an override