Everyone's Hot (And I'm Not)

[Verse 1] Everyone's a model and I'm a librarian Everyone's a Corgi and I'm an Alsatian Everyone's a birth and I'm a C-section Everyone's a train and I'm a train station Everyone's appealing, they all look good I'd swipe right if I could A nice straight girl tells me that I look good But I really, really, really wish a gay guy would [Pre-Chorus] So I smile, say, "Hi, have I met you before? Did you like the band? Yeah, I've met them before" Then I lean in, and he tells me to stop And everyone's hot And I'm not [Chorus] Everyone's hot, and I'm not Everyone's hot, and I'm not Everyone's hot, and I'm not Everyone's hot, and I'm not [Verse 2] Everyone's a model, they're all Brazilian I'm a librarian from Wigan I've got one pound, they've got one million Everyone's a reptile, and I'm an amphibian My bread roll doesn't taste good to the ducks And the kids don't want the candy in my truck Bad luck, bad luck, this is it, I'm stuck Giving new meaning to giving zero fucks 'Cause I'm cute as a button, but they won't press me Everyone's police, but they don't arrest me Everyone's Coke and I'm Diet Pepsi Everyone's a dick and I'm testes [Instrumental Break] [Pre-Chorus] The guy says, "Hey, I'm not into all that I don't like boys, I like pussy, twat, vagina" And every other synonym of 'not me' So I laugh and say, "I don't know what you mean" Or, "I was joking," go into the smoking section Look both directions, I'm alone I feel like a leper I catch the sight of my reflection I don't feel any better [Chorus] Because everyone's hot, and I'm not Everyone's hot, and I'm not Everyone's hot, and I'm not Everyone's hot, and I'm not [Post-Chorus] Everyone's (I'm not) Everyone's (I'm not) Everyone's (I'm not) Everyone's [Bridge] Everyone's, uh, every-everyone's probably bored of this, right? Let's do the other bit, yeah, this bit, woo, wow Yeah, I love this bit Uh-da-da-da-da-da-da Da-da-da, da Da-da-da-da-da-da-da Da-da-da-da-da-da-da Da-da-da-da-da-da-da Okay, this verse is gonna be good [Verse 3] Everyone's hot and I'm not Everyone's fit and I'm shit Everyone's 'ight and I'm shite Everyone's sexy and I'm Dexys Midnight Runners on a Thursday night, alright [Outro] Like "Come On Eileen"? Yeah Oh, ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-baow