My Funny Serpentine

[Verse 1] I'd offer to help but I'd lose my fedora There's just a ghost beneath this white linen In my youth I dreamt of Robert Graves Now my blood and my hair is thinning Epitaphs in the glittering waves So let's have a shave and go back to the beginning Before we were losers, Nan Golden children winning [Verse 2] He burst from the room with a labrys hung From his scrotum and a wreath 'round his waist Jump on the table, licked his lips Said, "I'll show you really fucking bad taste" His kids roll their eyes, he drools and laughs His dad slips into the pink of his past Coiling his stiff old spine in a loop Unhinging his jaw to devour his arse [Chorus / Outro] Put your little hands in mine My funny serpentine All singing Auld Lang Syne M-m-m-m-my funny serpentine Put your little hands in mine My funny serpentine All singing Auld Lang Syne My funny serpentine Oh! My funny serpentine Oooh! My funny serpentine Oooh! My funny serpentine Oooh! My funny serpentine Wooo! Oooh! Ahhh! Wooo!