The Cat Song

I was snoozin' on the sofa when she came in from work She started baby-talkin' as she laid down her purse "How's mama's pookie-wookie? How's her big sweetie-pie?" I kinda smiled and I opened one eye "Did mama's hunky lovey-dovey have a hard day?" I was just about to answer when I heard her say "Him's so fat and lazy but him sweet as can be" That's when I knew she wasn't referring to me Oh, I wish she talked to me like that Didn't care where I scratched or sat Gave me praise for being lazy and fat But she only talks that way to her cat, oh yeah She only talks that way to her cat And would you look at him? He's just an ugly big ball of fur He acts as if he doesn't care a thing about her He doesn't work, he's never even caught a small mouse But she treats him like the king of the house Hey, I'm a little overweight and I treat her like I don't care I even laid out of work and it got me nowhere It's a mystery I simply can't understand What she loves in that cat, she can't stand in a man Oh, I wish she talked to me like that Didn't care where I scratched or sat Gave me praise for being lazy and fat But she only talks that way to her cat, oh yeah She only talks that way to that big little cat Well, meow