Was It Worth It?

Clinging to self depreciation and dissociation I’ve dug holes so deep relying on self medication Even with separation from the world, i’m losing to this sickness My coping mechanisms became destructive And counter productive, every day i’m exhausted A ghost of who I used to be, when I look back nostalgia always seems to kill me Is that it? Repression only goes so far until the layers of your skin peel And the wounds left untreated, never learn to heal Hindsight is a pathetic thing, who cares if you understand, when it's already too late I don’t care where i’ve been, if where I am is why i’m sinking Is why i’m sinking Will I ever enjoy my moments here anymore, or will time always escape me? Sometimes I think i’ve felt everything, everything i’ll ever feel Nothing will be new, just lesser versions of what i’ve already felt Just a ghost of who I used to be Hindsight is a pathetic thing, who cares if you understand, when it's already too late I don’t care where i’ve been, if where I am is why i’m sinking Clinging to self depreciation and dissociation I’ve dug holes so deep relying on self medication Repression only went so far until my skin peeled These wounds left untreated, never learned to heal