Scenesters

Oh my god there's scenesters everywhere

With their hair gel and their vintage t-shirts

Why didn't the Shins come to Phoenix?

And why didn't Mirah come to Phoenix?

Because the modified is too small

And the marquis is too big

And the complex is rightfully dead

And the hipsters with their snide comments and aversion to applause

Oh my god hardcore kids everywhere

With their hair gel and their color green

How do they look so good while their convictions remain so strong?

Because their hair gel that they use isn't tested on animals

And their swallow tattoos are fucking lame

And cocaine is essentially vegan

And they don't give a fuck anyway

They're so vain, and yes, this song is about them

Oh my god post-hardcore kids everywhere

With their violence and pomposity

So fucking straightedge getting high off of self-righteousness

And praying to a sideways cross

So urban, so infantile, so angry, so young, and so poor

They don't need to use a crutch 'cuz they've got the wheelchair

Oh my god there's assholes everywhere

Pretentious fucking assholes everywhere

Oh my god there's assholes everywhere

Pretentious judgmental assholes everywhere