The Waitress

[Verse 1: Slug]

A city full of people and my favorite is that waitress

And she treats me like some type of common vagrant

I see her every day, but there's nothing to say

Unless I decide to step inside of that cafe

I only get to sit if I buy something to eat

Otherwise it's best to keep my feet moving down that street

And god damn she's a hard bitch

Talks at me like I'm the bad dog that got into the garbage

Yeah I know that the toilet is for customers

You ain't got to tangle up the strings to make this puppet work

It doesn't have to be a game of patty cake

But it ain't like you don't know I sleep in that alleyway

And by the way, I can see it in your eyes

You're angry with your life, not a stranger to the fight

I bet you hate every man that you date

And you're probably addicted to all types of escape

You take it out on me that you're all alone

When you know you got your own closet full of hollow bones

Watch the tone when you speak to old folks

I'm grown, just trying to get out of this Minnesota cold

[Spoken]

Look lady, I'm homeless, I'm crazy

I'm so hopeless I'm suicidal daily

If you and I can't co-exist, let's fake it

'Cause I ain't got the energy it takes for this relationship

[Verse 2: Slug]

I'm waiting for a city bus to flatten me

And transport me to the ever after happily

Maybe reincarnated with luck

Come back to Earth as a cockroach in your tip cup

She said she's had it up to here

She's gonna call authorities if I don't disappear

I love her threats, it rejuvenates my breath

I give her stress for the reaction that it gets

I got a pocket full of panhandled money

On a cup of bad coffee and a stale honey bun

In front of everyone she calls me bum

But she notices my absence on them afternoons I don't come

So here I am, thorn in her hip

Holding down the corner table all morning with some corn chips

Ignoring the insults and evil eyes

I feed off of 'em, I wonder when she'll realize

That she's the only reason I visit

The only woman in my world that acknowledges my existence

And if my ship ever comes, I'll miss it

Because I'm getting old and I ain't got much left to give it

So there it is and I have to live with it

I had the chance to make a difference, but I didn't

In the cafe bathroom drinking free tap water

Thinking: "Damn, I should've been a better father to my daughter"