12 Minute Freestyle

[Verse 1: Eminem]

I'll shove a gun in your grill, greasy and heated

Smothered in hot mustard, so when I feed it to you it's easy to eat it

You need to be immediately treated while you're breathin'

And you'll be leavin' the receivin' room this evenin' with Jesus

You hate on us? We'll be waitin' on eight corners

Swarmin' your hood with a thousand angry skateboarders

I'll hop in a jeep and slam on the gas and charge you

And bombard you in the car that your mom bought you

Fuck around and get choked and found in a moat

Floatin' around, drowned, face-down in a boat

I'll pile five dudes in a Pinto and pull-up to the Seven Mile drive through

At McDonald's and pile-drive you

I got the power to snatch a driver out of his Eddie Bauer

When it drives by me at 90 miles an hour

This place is my house

I might as well erase my face with white-out

'Cause y'all can't see me like Mase's eyebrows

[Verse 2: Royce da 5'9"]

Walking in swamp water with an M-16, out for the blood

Shove a gun in the mouth of a thug

To break braces, you say grace and make faces

I'll display hate and break you in eight places

Take paces, turn around, draw in a standoff

Precise aim, ice in my veins, blowin' your hand off

Dancin' with the Devil leadin', I won't die, I'm never leavin'

I pledge allegiance to forever breathin'

Street niggas with nuts, what? My meat's bigger

Fake-ass thugs with toy guns and cheap triggers

With a death wish, thinkin' I'm the nigga to mess with

Let the tech lift, direct chest hit, melt your necklace

For instance, you just a henchmen, on tough soil

A follower never had heart, he just loyal

Thugs is glass doors, I see through 'em, put the heat to 'em

Be careful, you might get what you ask for

That's what you false ballers get mugged and gagged for

Your life flashin' in front of your eyes in fast forward

Dearly departed, I don't even listen to artists

I'm pissing the farthest, and I'm also hittin' the hardest

I'm very intelligent

Compare me to cameras

I flash, and shoot what I see, and steady developin'

I fly you out of your whip with one try of the trigger

Out of your clique, ain't one nigga out of his shit

You gotta be kiddin', bring all of them niggas

They all gotta be hit quick, and they all gotta be hitten

It's not a game, and I ain't playin'

Yo, if I ain't lived it, did it, or seen it, then I ain't sayin'

I put a hole right in your chest

Stick a knife in your soul

Then take your life after taking your death

I'm nice!

That ain't even countin' the endless bars

Friends with stars, wondering which Benz is ours

Pretendin' to ball could even be the ending of y'all

The minute you fall, my criminals will finish you off

I argue with no one

You got a gun? Alright, show one

If you ain't got heart now, you ain't gon' just grow one

[Verse 3: Eminem]

I'm keeping it raw, illegal like Malik and Jamal

'Cause I don't believe in the law, like I'm Steven Seagal

Flippin' off the police while I'm leapin' a wall

Take a bunch of Tylenol, then fall asleep in a mall

I got your little son, you'll be receivin' a call

You're lucky this little punk's still breathin' at all

Fuck the world, this how I get even at y'all

Pop shit, get rolled up, and leave in a ball

I hit you in your mouth and sink your teeth in your jaws

You won't be able to eat shit, not even a malt

This lethal assault, is giving you a reason to stall

I'm cocking this deuce-deuce and I'm squeezing it off

At the first burp and a fart, sniffle a sneeze and a cough

Get your arm chewed off like you was teasin' a dog

I'm cold enough and hot enough to freeze and unthaw

I'll kick my girl out in 10 degrees in her bra

[Verse 4: Royce da 5'9"]

Yo

I'm gonna give it to you straight this time, lace this bong

Bring it to your face till the Jakes respond

Guard y'all shit, I don't care how hard y'all hit

I got cats with bats you wouldn't play hardball with

I splatter intestines quick, before you can blast

Or handle your weapon, you'll get stabbed in a matter of seconds

We ain't worried about threats 'cause God got us

We popping Cris, y'all sipping Moet by-products

I ain't scared to die, let's blast, it's gonna be either

If you both die then your casket is gonna be deeper

Yo, you ain't a Don, you don't even know what beef is

What you competing with, or hit and make concrete give

Yo, I came out, naked at birth, making it worse

Making a verse, sacred and shaking the Earth

Niggas got plenty opinions about Royce

But they ain't got a voice

I'm doper than them, so they ain't got a choice

Niggas be swearin' battle-battle, not understanding themselves

They babble-babble, that's why they stay on the shelves

Playing yourself, promisin' threats to test y'all

Just doing this rap shit until UPS calls

I see why you must hate me

I'm sharp enough to cut gravy

It's just crazy, niggas is such babies

Real as they come, dancin'

Killing for fun, advancin'

Healing my thumb, feelin' my gun

Cock, squeeze and make every nigga freeze in here

Stop breathing, there better be some cheese in here

If there's any MCs in here, I hope you read me clear

You seein' teeth, beef with the C's in here

Yo, you ain't fly, I got shit that you can't buy

You can't lie, you drink St. Ides and fake high

Take pie, try to flip it

You don't know nothing about that shit

If I was you, I wouldn't risk it

[Verse 5: Eminem]

I wouldn't risk it...

Rappers get hit with this verbal biscuit

Hey, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo

Keep the same beat, keep the same beat, keep the same beat

It goes like this, yo

My attitude is worse than N.W.A.'s was

I'll battle you over stupid shit and diss people

Who ain't have shit to do with it, like Cool J does

You see me standing outside of your building

Screaming "Puffy is good, but Slim Shady is for the children!"

I look at my life in a new light -- fuck it

Give me two mics; I write songs for me -- fuck what you like

You're probably hear me rap half-hearted

'Cause I don't like rap anyway, I'm just trying to get my porno career started

Every place and event, been there, done that

Shit, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went

Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters

Lesson one: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers

Lesson two: Face 'em and diss 'em

Don't give 'em a demo; kidnap 'em

And make 'em come to your basement and listen

Lesson three: Get a job at a label; switch demos with Canibus

And put yours on the owner's table

Lesson four: Know you heard this before:

"Hey let me get your number; I'll call you tomorrow, for sure!"

Don't act like a fan -- you wanna get signed?

Get the whitest A&R you can find

Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can

Lesson five: Get a hook-up at Jive

Dress up like I.C.P and have them come see you perform live

And that's the key, but when you see me on the street

I ain't givin' you shit bitch, don't even bother asking me

Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when I'm spittin'

'Cause I'm always shittin' when I'm rapping like Master P

Got a blowjob from Paula Jones

And stuck it so far in her mouth my balls broke both of her collarbones

Told Mya this shit was all about me-ah

Gave Alyssa Milano syphillis, mono and gonorrhea

And all three of my main girls said see-ya

'Cause Brandy and Monica walked in and caught me fucking Aaliyah

I splish splash while I'm taking a bath

Grab a handful of pills, break 'em in half, take 'em and laugh

White trash, fucking your wife in the ass

While you're out siphoning gas

For your lawnmower to cut the grass

And it's like that, and it's like that

[Verse 6: Royce da 5'9"]

It don't stop, what

5-9, Slim Shady, yo

The rap auctioneer, spitting out double figures

Deliver for fans to repeat, handling heat

The Commander in Chief, I should've been banned from the street

Flee after I stab an MC with twin crutches

You've been had by the phantom of beef

Release when the paper and pen touches

While y'all talking, my venomous rap splits

Get your ass kicked, punk, your kind get offed often

80 niggas deep with heat at the mall walking

You'll either get shot with all barkers

Or get knocked upside your head with big blocks

Till you spit teeth

You're all soft and up shit's creek in a long coffin

I get work without a single fiend involved

I'm married to the mob, I mean for real, ring and all

Basically that means that I ain't your average rap nigga

You'll get slapped and thrown in the back of an Ac' bigger

With the latch cracked, trunk open

So you can look up at the stars

Fill your pockets with plastic explosives

Drive to cover, detonate the bomb

Blow you up with the car and flee the scene and cop another

Morph right into the physical form of your spirit

In front of your eyes, and make you battle yourself

Like Shang Tsung with wisdom in the brilliance of a million disciples

Equipped with a right hook to split a buildin'

The pure repertoire of an African vase

Sent here to knock you off your square and put you back in your place

Babylon battalion, holding your engineer ransom

For your master, so I can sabotage your album

[Verse 7: Eminem]

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo

Weed lacer, '97 burgundy Blazer

Wanted for burglary, had to ditch the Mercury Tracer

I’m on some loc shit, some fed up with this being broke shit

I’m not to joke with, bitch, I don’t sell crack, I smoke it

Having a coke fit, going through withdrawls daily

Shoot-up with Mescaline in front of my baby daughter Hailie

My brain’s dusted, I’m disgusted at all my habits

Too many aspirin tablets, empty medicine cabinets

Losing battles to wack rappers 'cause I’m always too blunted

Walking up in the cypher smoking, talking about “Who want it?”

Thug and a crook; every drug in the book; I’ve done it

My 9’s at your brain, is that you chain? Run it

Crews die from an overdosage of excessive flavor

Aggressive nature got me sticking you for your Progressive pager

Spectacular, crystal-meth manufacturer

Stole your momma’s Acura, wrecked it, and sold it back to her

Boosting Nike jackets, escaped from psychiatrics

Told the nurse to save my bed for me, I might be back, bitch

So barricade your entrance, put up some extra fences

A woman beater, wanted for repeated sex offenses

Chasing dips – take them on long vacation trips

Kidnapping ‘em and trapping ‘em in abusive relationships

Fuck up your face and lips, slit your stomach and watch your gut split

Cut you with that razor that I use to shave my nuts with

Mama, don’t you cry, your son is too far gone

I’m so high, I don’t even know what label I’m on

I’m fucked up, I feel just like an overworked plumber

I’m sick of this shit, what’s Jack Kevorkian’s phone number?

[Verse 8: Royce da 5'9"]

It's like this, right?

Slim Shady, Royce Da 5'9", bust it, set it

Yo, check it, yo, yo

You get laced by the gun, in case you try to run

Hatred on my face by the tongue, get baked by the sun

Constructed of interplanetary rock and metal

Topping levels of combustion that's hot enough to stop the devil

Innovative flusher to enemies

The impact will be the generated destructive energy to flatten trees

Black, poised since birth

Birth? Tore the womb up

To hit the Earth like an asteroid and blow the moon up

Trust me, I'm the epitome, you better bust me

Any nigga can say fuck me and he gon' touch me

Smoking organic ganja inside of a stanza

Me and my man cypher with cans of volcanic lava

Man and it's hot, I'm out of my shit

From the bottom, I can leap out a bottomless pit and land at the top

Raw, that's what I came out here for

To raise and eclipse, and occasional trips to the beer store

And switch-up, the breed of MC and stick a bitch up

Bigger and speed to reach in the sea and pick a fish up

I'm fly against all laws of gravitation

I done crushed all y'all, now you want a collaboration

But fuck that, you stepped up, so I'm gonna fuck your rep up

Tear the rest up, with every joint that I press up

Handling heat and ammo, bullets passing me by

Challenging me to battle? Man, you asking to die

Narrow off niggas, squeeze a grenade until it's dissolved

Bite the barrel of a revolver and spin it

Nigga, forget it, I earned it

I kill you then come to your funeral and strangle you to confirm it

Minds carry malaria, sick

Ask niggas who the best is, you'll hear 5-9 in every area

Crushing your head, hunting you dead

You ain't nice

I battled you before, I don't remember nothing you said

You was wack, I was gonna quit on it till I thought

My dick is big enough for all of y'all niggas to get on it

Making you high off of the smoke, often you're cold

Making y'all join that big hip-hop nation in the sky

And it's easy, believe me, you better been frontin'

When you said you was hot, 'cause you couldn't please me if you was begging me

[Verse 9: Eminem]

Some people say I'm strange, I tell them ain't shit change

I'm still the same lame asshole with a different name

Who came late to the last show with a different dame

Brain ate from the last O that I sniffed of cane

You know you're spaced the fuck out like George Lucas

When your puke is turning to yellowish-orange mucus

So when I grab a pencil and squeeze it between fingers

I'm not a rapper, I'm a demon who speaks English

A freak genius, too extreme for the weak and squeamish

Burn you alive till you screaming to be extinguished

'Cause when I drop the science, motherfuckers tell me to stop the violence

Start a fire and block the hydrants

I'm just a mean person, you never seen worse than

So when Slim gets this M-16 bursting

You getting spun backwards like every word of obscene cursin'

On the B-side of my first single with the clean version

Stopping your short life when you still a teen virgin

Unless you get a kidney specialist and a spleen surgeon

In the best hospital possible for emergency surgery

To try to stop the blood from your ruptured sternum internally

I'll take it back before we knew each others' name

Run in the ultrasound and snatch you out your mother's frame

I'll take it further back than that

Back to Lovers Lane, to the night you were thought of

And cock block your father's game

I'll plead the fifth like my jaws were muzzled

So suck my dick while I take a shit and do this crossword puzzle

And when I'm down with ten seconds left in the whole bout

I'm gonna throw a head-butt so hard, it'll knock us both out