Satan Gave Me a Taco

Satan gave me a taco
And it made me really sick
The chicken was all raw
And the grease was mighty thick

The rice was all rancid
And the beans were so hard
I was getting kinda dizzy
Eatin' all the lard

There was aphids on the lettuce
And I ate every one
And after I was done
The salsa melted off my tongue

Pieces of tortilla
Got stuck in my throat
And the stains on my clothes
Burned a hole through my coat

My stomach was a'tremblin'
And I broke out in a rash
I was so dry and thirsty
And I didn't have no cash

So I went and found a hose
Tore off all my clothes
Turned on the water
And it shot right up my nose

Some old lady came along
And she thought I was a freak
So she beat me with her handbag
'til I could hardly speak

I was laying there naked
My body badly bruised
In a pool of my own blood
Unconscious and confused

Well, the cops came and got me
And threw me in their van
And I woke up on the ceiling
And I couldn't find my hand

They took me to the judge
His eyes a'glown' red
The courtroom was filled
With witches and the dead

Well, the sheriff was a hell-hound
With fangs and claws
The prisoners were tied up
And chained to the walls

The air was getting thick
The smoke was getting thicker
The judge read the verdict
Said "cut off his head!"

Well, they placed me on the altar
And they raised up the axe
My head was about to explode
When I noticed the Marshall stacks

I noticed all the smoke machines
The cameras and the lights
Some guy with a microphone
Runnin' around, dancin' in tights

And I noticed the crew
And the band playin' down below
And I realized I was in a rock video
So I went and joined the band

And I went out on tour
And I smoked a lot of heroin
And passed out in manure
I made out with the groupies (aw, yeah)

Started fires backstage (aw yeah, start 'em up)
Made a lot of money (aw yeah, I'm makin' it)
And I gave it all away (give it all to me)
Well, the band got killed (aw, bunch of losers)

So, I started a solo career (aw haw, yeah)
And I won all the awards (get 'em all now)
And I drank all the beer (drink it all up, get funky)

And I opened up the taco stand (aw haw)
Just to smell the smell
Cookin' with the Devil (come on)
Fryin' down in Hell