Banquet (The Streets Mix)

[Music Video Intro]

Good morning, diary, it's, er, the 5th of August, and, erm

Yeah, I don't feel too bad actually, I've got to take, er

Gotta take Jo Whiley's microphone back to her today, and, um

Yeah, I'm, um, bit nervous, really

[Intro]

This is a message to Jo Whiley:

Jo, seriously, the year I've had has been crazy

I've had a stomach ulcer and a broken heart

I've been out with a celebrity

But, thankfully, no one found out about that

[Verse 1]

I was just gonna post it back anonymously

But, Jo, that's not what my mum and dad raised me up to be

I made a deal with superstition and I make deals to keep

September 2003, Friday the 13th

I was on your show, you supported me, I thank you eternally

Things were different back then, before the gambling learned me

The days of free beer, before that said celebrity fling

Back then, I was desperate to make an excellent second disc

I did something bad but always vowed to my soul

That if my next work increased my amount of albums that sold

Enough for Mike to not end up back out on the dole

I promised I'd promptly send you back what I stole

[Chorus]

I don't know how to say this one but I stole your microphone

While I was on your live radio show, Jo

(Friday the 13th is unlucky for some, I tell you)

The thirteenth is unlucky for some (But not for my mum)

But that Friday was lucky for Mum

'Cause that mic you loaned me made for a number one

(Number one, so thank you)

[Verse 2]

I slid a Neumann microphone into my pocket

Bowled out the studio just as Avril Lavigne got in, oi

I was nervous like, even though that type of swipe's quite easy

And not 'cause of how many millions had tuned in to me speak

I don't feel good about it and I don't want to repeat it

But the mic went pride of place on Grand Don't Come For Free

Three years on, now I'm all in, now I've won what I needed

So I want to be straight up, and own up for the deed

I wasn't going to tell you, but I started feeling bad

'Cause you were so safe when I went in

Around the release of my last

It's a joke, anyway, what I wanted to say is just, "Sorry"

I took your mic, but I'm sending it back to you, promptly

(You can have it back, seriously)

[Chorus]

I don't know how to say this one (I really am sorry)

But I stole your microphone

While I was on your live radio show, Jo

The thirteenth is unlucky for some (But not for my mum)

The thirteenth is unlucky for some

But that Friday was lucky for Mum

'Cause that mic you loaned me made for a number one

[Bridge]

I keep gettin' these letters about not paying my license fee

They're all red, it's a warning to pay

(You know, to say you gotta pay)

Then after a while they go back to blue for a change

Then I'll pay that as well as my water rates

(My heating doesn't actually work at the moment)

[Chorus]

I don't know how to say this one but I stole your microphone

While I was on your live radio show, Jo

The thirteenth's unlucky for some

But that Friday was lucky for Mum

'Cause that mic you loaned me made for a number one

[Outro]

There it is, seriously, I am really hon–I am really sorry, honest

Er, yeah, I'm not gonna use the fact that I was drunk

To, you know, excuse mysel–I was drunk though

It even broke at one point

I had it repaired, serious

It costs quite a lot to have those microphones repaired

But yeah, I've grown quite attached to it

So, um, we named him "Silver"

Er, I recorded, er, nearly two albums

So, yeah, please give him a good home

'Cause he's become, you know, really quite a good friend