I Shall Be Free

[Verse 1]

Well, I took me a woman late last night

I’s three-fourths drunk, she looked alright

'Til she started peeling off her onion gook

Took off her wig, said, “How do I look?"

I's high-flying, bare-naked

Out the window

[Verse 2]

Well, sometimes I might get drunk

Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk

Don’t hurt me none, it don’t hurt my pride

Because I got my little lady right by my side

She's a-tryin' to hide, pretendin' she don't know me

[Verse 3]

I’s out there painting on the old woodshed

When a can of black paint, it fell on my head

I went down to scrub and rub

But I had to sit in back of the tub

Cost a quarter

Half-price

[Verse 4]

Well, my telephone rang, it would not stop

It’s President Kennedy calling me up

He said, “My friend, Bob

What do we need to make the country grow?”

I said, “My friend, John; Brigitte Bardot

Anita Ekberg

Sophia Loren”

Country'll grow

[Verse 5]

Well, I got a woman, five feet short

She yells and hollers and screams and snorts

She tickles my nose, pats me on the head

Rolls me over and kicks me out of bed

She’s a man-eater, meat-grinder, bad loser

[Verse 6]

Oh, there ain't no use in me working all the time

I got a woman who works herself blind

Works up to her britches, up to her neck

Writes me letters and sends me checks

She’s a humdinger, folk singer

[Verse 7]

Late one day in the middle of the week

Eyes were closed, I was half asleep

I chased me a woman up the hill

Right in the middle of an air-raid drill

I jumped a fallout shelter

I jumped a string bean

I jumped a TV dinner

I jumped a shotgun

[Verse 8]

Now, the man on the stand, he wants my vote

He’s a-running for office on the ballot note

He’s out there preaching in front of the steeple

Telling me he loves all kinds of people

He’s eatin' bagels

He’s eatin' pizza

He’s eatin' chitlins

Ooh

[Verse 9]

Oh, set me down on a television floor

I’ll flip the channel to number four

Out of the shower comes a football man

With a bottle of oil in his hand

Greasy kid stuff

What I want to know, Mr. Football Man, is

What do you do about Willie Mays

Martin Luther King

Olatunji

Whoa-ho

[Verse 10]

Well, the funniest woman I ever seen

Was the great-granddaughter of Mr. Clean

She takes about fifteen baths a day

Wants me to grow a mustache on my face

She’s insane

[Verse 11]

Well, they ask me why I’m drunk all the time

It levels my head and eases my mind

I just walk along and stroll and sing

I see better days and I do better things

I catch dinosaurs

Make love to Elizabeth Taylor

Catch hell from Richard Burton