Don't Know Anymore

'Cause we're in your drop-top, and it's hard, then I'm feelin' you
I calmed down, turned around, you put me in a mood
Old house, windows down, but I'm still feelin' you
Years passed, nothing changed, I'm still in love with you
I don't need nobody else, I just want you to myself, oh no
Mm

To get to my current position, I done more than ten thousand hours
Dreamt that I saw my name on a gravestone, maybe then they would give me my flowers
Mum put three of her boys in the tub same time cah we couldn't afford to shower
Before man snaked me, I already saw it comin', I saw they was sour
But now it's my time to experience fame, the opps tryna find out where am I stayin'
My girl don't believe anything I'm sayin', my family need anything, I'm payin'
Sat down, tellin' a therapist stories, I know she ain't gonna relate
What's this? What's that? I don't care to explain, I'll deal with the grief and bearin' the pain

I don't paint these girls in a positive way, you can tell that my heart's been broken before
Tryna heal, but it's takin' time, what's the point in life? I don't know anymore
Tell the young boys, "Stay in school", but I wouldn't be here if I followed the law
I keep makin' dumb decisions like I don't have control of my thoughts
The guys wouldn't know that I'm feelin' like this 'cause I conceal and hide it
Everyone's there on the weekend vibin', nobody's there when I need consignment
I heard the quote that the strong survive, but I still got a fear of what's dyin'
Some nights still toss and turn in my sleep cah I seen some serious violence

I was six years old when Dad left home, and it shot my granddad, all of that at once
My lil' bro's still going to school, but he wanna do everything that the gang does
Now he's repeatin' the cycle cah he's outside and he wanna go act up
Got sick of the carton milk, it was free school meals, we never had pack lunch
Cuttin' the mould of the loaf of bread and I looked in the fridge and the milk expired
All of the mandem jumped in the trap cah we put on The Wire and got inspired
Not surprised when I see man lyin', it's fine, I already clocked they're liars
I just saw a cat that I know whilst drivin', I might park up on the block, say hi

Mum's house bangin' out Beanie Sigel, I still don't feel much love in the air
Lost faith in God 'cause I thought I was cursed, kept it to myself cah none of them cared
Tellin' my baby, "Wait, I don't know how long it will take, I'm gonna repair
If it all falls down, would you bounce? If none of the tours sold out, are you gonna be there?"
There's a few times I lost faith in music, I put out a tune, and it didn't get views
Me and my broski went and came up with a plan back then, but it didn't go through
You know that shit that you say when you're broke, like, "When I get dough, I'ma bring in you too"
Then I blew up and reality hit, shit, now I gotta think this through

Three little brothers, Mum's 40 and still ain't paid off her student loan
My Dad can't move, he's fuckin' paralysed, just went through some serious stroke
The mandem callin' me, YG's warnin' 'em, sayin' that I gotta leave home
I get more money, more problems now, I had less to worry 'bout when I was broke
Remember I had one pair of Air Forces, tryna keep out the creases
Now the front drive look like it's a showroom, and none of them leases
I'm extremely grateful for all my people, cah none of them leeches
I dropped a tape, got a billion streams and none of them even features

Now my bredrin dissed me and tryna go viral 'cause he ain't blown yet, how is that my fault?
I thought you was Christian, why don't you move like Matthew, Phillip, disciple?
But you wan' snake man, move like Judas 'cause you ain't blew, it's a fuckin' vio
And we're London, bare opportunity, it's not like we live in Ohio
I booked hotels and flights to all of these shows and brought you to all of these countries
Say thank you and pretend that you're grateful, but when I turn man's back, say fuck me
Whole six months livin' at your mum's, we was with big bro on our own, it was us three
Shouldn't ever bite the hand that feeds you, I leave man starvin' cah you're too hungry

I said that I got you, but you didn't trust me, I would've, but you didn't give me the chance
You can ask any one of the mandem now if I ever left 'em in the dark
Whatever's meant to be will be, I can't turn back time or dwell on the past
But I sometimes wonder, "Could have I got this far without losin' my dawg?"

Drop-top, and it's hard, then I'm feelin' you
I calmed down, turned around, you put me in a mood
Old house, windows down, but I'm still feelin' you
Years passed, nothing changed, I'm still in love with you
I don't need nobody else, I just want you to myself, oh no