I'm Not Dead

You can protect yourself from things you would like
If you're obsessed with only doing what's right
Nobody's waiting at the end with a prize for staying in at night

All the pots I stirred
Things I knew for sure
I was wrong but it sounded right at the time at least
Now when I can't sleep
It's cause I blame me

But I'm not, I'm not dead
Even if I was
I'd wish that I fucked up least twice as much
And had like double the fun
But I'm not dead
I'm not, I'm not done
I'm looking down from starlight
Glass-eyed
I still got some time left, I'm not dead

My boyfriend's dad is over 75
His life's more fun and more fulfilling than mine
If I'm a rockstar I'm not doing it right
Tapped out at 29

All the pots I stirred, things I knew for sure
I was right but it came out wrong
Every "I'll change" spiel led to nothing real
And I still blame me

But I'm not, I'm not dead
I'm not, I'm not done
All this time I wasted, couldn't hate myself enough
I'm not, I'm not dead
Even if I was
I'd wish that I fucked up least twice as much
And had like double the fun

But I'm not dead!
I'm not, I'm not done
I'm looking down from starlight, glass-eyed
I've still got some time left I'm not dead

I'm not, I'm not dead
I'm not, I'm not done
All this time I wasted, couldn't hate myself enough
I'm not, I'm not dead
Even if I was
I'd wish that I fucked up least twice as much
And had like double the fun
But I'm not dead!