[Intro: Eminem]
Balls, balls, balls
Balls, balls, balls
You'll never touch my
[Chorus: Eminem]
Catch me, if you can, but you ain't man enough
You're standing tough
But you know that no matter what
You'll never get the chance to touch
My balls, balls, balls
Balls, balls, balls
You'll never touch my balls
[Verse 1: Swift]
I see you ain't a player, you ain't balling
And I don't even care who the hell you call in
In this game, it ain't no talking
You can get it started, I nail the coffin
And all I here is "Get your man up off him"
So why I gotta stop it, this nigga was talking
And I ain't gotta prove you nothing
I do it and you ain't gotta push my buttons
[Verse 2: Bizarre]
This dude in front of me, he weighs a brick
He's quick and I can't get Marshall hit (Marshall!)
So I played my position and don't make a move
Been doing this for years, my team we can't lose (D12!)
And ain't nobody, ain't nobody hard
9 o'clock, I'm gonna punch me a guard
Hut one, hut two—I'm ready
Hike, give the ball to Nelly (Yeah)
And nobody out there feels me
Take this ball, you have to kill me
And any player in my way, I'm folding
Damn it, caught holding
[Chorus: Eminem]
Catch me, if you can, but you ain't man enough
You're standing tough
But you know that no matter what
You'll never get the chance to touch
My balls, balls, balls
Balls, balls, balls
You'll never touch my balls
[Verse 3: Eminem]
Football, football, I love football
Yes, tres, dos, uno
Dos, tres, fuck, shit
Bitch, asshole, son of a bitch
Everybody cuddle, blah, I mean huddle
I just stepped in a mud puddle, butthole
Freak, who just tapped on my ass cheek?
Nevermind, let's try quarterback sneak
Cover me, smother me with love that's brotherly
That didn't work, try another play
Hut one, hut two, hut-hut, hurry up
I'm reaching up another grown man's butt
Hike the ball, I mean I like Bizarre
But Jesus, he hikes, I think I can feel his balls
My dick is long as it is hard
Yeah, so are my balls, it's the longest yard
Whoops, that's not the chorus
Run it back, wrong song, yeah disregard
That whole statement I just made, what yard line we on?
Our own five and our timeouts are gone
Less than a minute left
I just throw my ball to the sideline to Von
He steps out of bounds
48 seconds left on the clock but every last one counts
Call another huddle, we're down by six
The plan is, to throw the ball to Swift
But he's so God dang high that he trips, falls and slips
Proof grabs him by his fingertips
And runs the ball all the way down to the one
But he don't get in, but all we need
Is a put, put… *mumbles* in
But all we need is a touch down and an extra point to win
But then I get sacked
All the way back to the ten, God dammit
I'ma slap somebody if I get tapped on the ass again
Everybody's laughing now
No timeouts and its now fourth down
We're never gonna make it, wait, I just got an idea
Quick, everybody get naked
Denaun go long, I'ma throw the bomb
C'mon, how they gonna tackle you with no pants on
Ass out with a flopping schlong—touchdown!
Yeah, I told you: it's the longest yard
[Chorus: Eminem]
Catch me, if you can, but you ain't man enough
You're standing tough
But you know that no matter what
You'll never get the chance to touch
My balls, balls, balls
Balls, balls, balls
You'll never touch my balls
[Verse 4: Kuniva]
The new face on the yard, just hand me the ball
I'mma run through all of yall, yall just soft
Even though my cleats is kicking up mud
It's more traction for me, I'm stiff arming punks
High stepping through the end zone
I been grown, I'm so dirty you don't even know my skin tone
It's time to rumble, no time to fumble
And I won't stumble, your frontline will tumble
Playing ball with killers, my team's the realest
Three time offenders, even drug dealers
One of the best running backs there never was
Moving like Barry Sanders, leaving you in the dust
[Verse 5: Proof]
Yak is high, I got the highest yak
Hit the ground so hard I leave tire tracks
Bizarre snap like a fire crack
And my palm more stickier than spider back
Eying my eye, a Mack truck trying to sack us
No matter how big they flying backwards
Wide receiver receiving wide
For every stride in my life, yo, I breathe and die
[Verse 6: Kon Artis]
Defense is playing a pass
Then the quarterback peeps and screams (Blue 43)
That means that its time for me
To run out the back like a bat straight outta hell
My tracks burn turf when they excel
I try to lateral pass the ball to Proof
He got dropped and the ball came loose
And shot up like a flare, I gave the ball a stare
And use my lineman's shoulder as a chair
Now I'm flying through the air like a superhero
They can use this pose for a box of cereal
I'm no joke punk, I get my dinerio
For being the best player on my team, what?
As soon as I hear the hut one, two, hut
I do one run, run, the screen go run-run
Then I cut, spin around in the endzone (Touchdown!)
Then I do the ninety shuffle so
[Chorus: Eminem]
Catch me if you can but you ain't man enough
You're standing tough
But you know that no matter what
You'll never get the chance to touch
My balls, balls, balls
Balls, balls, balls
You'll never touch my balls
[Outro: Eminem]
Footballs
I'm talking about footballs, dude
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