Liam Payne vs. Jason Derulo

[Jason Derulo]

A'ight, Josh. Ay, hit me off with something crazy, bro

[Round 1: Jason Derulo]

Hey, look, everybody, it's the guy from 1D

Not the pretty one, not the gritty one, it's the one you never see

And you bone an X-Factor judge, your success is no riddle

Congrats to you, Liam, you slept your way to the middle

And I was told I was spitting the hottest Liam on Earth

So I'm still wondering, where the hell is Liam Hemsworth?

After this battle, you gon' be callin' yo' ma-ma

You definitely can't spit, but you can Swalla-la-la

[Round 1: Liam Payne]

Hwey! C'mon, yeah, yes, yes, yes

I hoped I would battle somebody with fame

Not Jason who, though — no one knows your name

I remember hearing you first on "Whatcha Say"

Trying to be The Weeknd, you're more like a weekday

And now you went vegan, seems wrong

You don't butcher animals, but you'll butcher your songs

"Wiggle" and "Swalla," your singles went gold

Who names your songs, a six-year-old?

[Round 2: Jason Derulo]

Your biggest win is havin' an older woman

But holla at ya boy when you sell a hunnid million

Those are some numbers that actually pay

And your first single sounds like one of my throwaways

And you take shirtless selfies like you a clown

But I'm the only one that should be strippin' it down

This boy right here, he's not worthy to me

But at least I get to tell his mom to talk dirty to me

[Round 2: Liam Payne]

Yes, my girlfriend is older, ya ain't wrong

Older women love me, especially your mom!

Making fun of One Direction, Jason, that's lazy

I got that one D that'll make ya lady crazy

You're attacking the things that I did as a kid

Made a song called "Get Ugly," then you actually did

You here to take me out? Well, I wish you good luck

You finally answer the question "What if D'Angelo sucked?"

[Round 3: Jason Derulo]

So, if I were you, Liam, I would've begged my friends

To stay in One Direction so my career wouldn't end

I told my friends who I'm battlin', they said, "Who's that?"

So I Googled you, and no results came back

Your son's name is Bear Payne, yeah, that's cool

I'm sure that'll go well with the kids in high school

But you're my son, you wish you was me

All you need is some talent and a long, black D!

[Round 3: Liam Payne]

Hey, ho, ah

If people like "Swalla," trust me, they lie

To release that, you had to "swalla" your pride

Say your name on every song to make sure you get credit

Like anyone hears that shit and would lie that they did it

I ain't impressed with your dancin', I ain't impressed with your flow

You got a song called "Trumpets," 'cause you actually blow

When I watch your music videos, I just want them to end

There's nothin' I wouldn't do so you never sing again