[Intro: Dolemite, Kids & Mother]
Come on over, honey, and give your Uncle Dolemite a kiss
(*lips smack*)
Well, what you want, baby?
Would you tell me a story?
You want me to tell you a story?
Hell yeah! (Me too)
Yes, honey, I'm 'on tell you a story about the badass Eazy-E
He was drinkin' whiskey and gin at the age of three
Listen and listen well, he's a bad motherfu-
Give me that goddamn book!
Here, let me read you this one, "Christmas in Compton"
It was a silent night, yes, a holy night
Until Mr. Claus turned into Santa motherfuckin' Wright?
[Interlude: Carollers, Eazy-E]
Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
'Tis the season to be jolly
Merry Christmas, motherfucker!
*gunshots*
[Verse 1: Eazy-E]
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas and a ho-ho-ho
While I'm riding that cock under the mistletoe
Now I'm dashing through the snow (Ooh)
In a candy rag top, 6'4" (Hittin' them switches)
Over the hills I go
Laughing at this ho
Nuts on her chin ring
Makin' me feel right
Oh, what fun it is to know that I'm gonna get this pussy tonight
So ring them bells, ring them bells, she's taking it all the way
Oh, what fun it is to watch her suck my dick this way, hey
Ring them bells, ring them bells, she's taking it all the way
Oh, what fun it is to nut while she's sucking my dick
Okay, stop!
'Tis is the season to get bitten
Cop some chronic, and I'm smoking all this shit
[Interlude: Santa]
Ho-ho-ho-ho! Come sit on my face, I mean lap
And tell me what you want for Christmas, ho-ho-ho!
[Verse 2: Menajahtwa]
I want a sleigh ride, a Christmas Eve sippin' rum
She said I slide down the chimney and I'm full of cum
A VCR on the slip with nothin' but porno flicks
Give her some Rudolph the red-nosed rein-dick
Did ya last long like an everlasting gobstopper?
Give me a pump for his cock, he'll be the party popper
I dig a ho, crackin' dough by the North Pole
I wanna be having a hell of a good time fuckin' in the snow
A trap to drop to his knees, yeah, you know what's up
I nut in crack candy canes, pay him to eat 'em up
Ain't excited now, I'm jumping down, swinging by my toes
Send me some change, I want the candy cream to keep me loot
On the first day, send me a little jack, horny guy
The second day, give me a Georgie Porgie pudding pie
Yeah, so all on the hunt, bon appétit
With a condom in nut a tree!
[Bridge: Buckwheat]
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, my two front teeth
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
Yo, where's ya rhyme? Call me Buckwheat
[Verse 3: Buckwheat]
Buckwheat is a rascal that stole Christmas
And all the toys, boys and girls, fuck ya wishes
I'm not happy, overjoyed in this motherfucker
No indo under my tree, so Santa be a sucker
Go shit on the roof, cough up Rudolph's nuts
When I was young, I was the only kid who had enough guts to be
Good all year, and on the Eve, I'd stay awake
Just to let America know that Santa was a fake
I used to believe in Saint Dick when Elvis was alive
But all that fucking bullshit got played when I was five
Years old, just stay young, bold writing
Singing "Silent Night", caroling, reciting
Now all I want for Christmas is my indo wreath
I got my two front teeth
Uncle Eazy be the jeezy, and just break me a leaf
Little kids, don't cry when you find out the Santa Claus is just a fucking lie
[Bridge: Eazy-E]
On the third day of Christmas, my homeboys gave to me
Three pounds of indo
Two birds of cocaine
And a A, motherfuckin' K, bitch
[Chorus: Menajahtwa (Bitches) & Eazy-E]
Eazy-E, oh, Eazy-E
Show us how you treat those bitches
I saw mommy fucking Eazy Claus
Close the door, little bitch, I'm getting these draws
I'ma tell my daddy if ya ass don't stop
I don't give a fuck, I'm getting Christmas cock
Ho-ho-ho! And away I go
Oh, Saint Nick's got a dick like a pole!
Well, where's our shit? This motherfucker's cheap
Oh, shut the fuck up, bitches, and go back to sleep!
[Verse 4: Will 1X]
Yo, black, what do you want for Christmas? (Yo, black, I want a job)
But for my Christmas, gonna get fucked up, bae don't want some corn-on-the-cob
A Jew will eat some matzo ball soup, but a nigga will eat some
Chicken and chitlins, watermelon, cornbread, and some Froot Loops
Now who's caroling in my window? Smokin' up indo
Mechalecha high, make a high note
[Verse 5: apl.de.ap]
Ho-ho! Get out my fucking yard with your carols
You wanna get busy? It's soundin' like a...
Bop-bop-bop-bop, I am a rhymer
I'm talkin' 'bout the Atban Klann will make shit come slam, it's Christmas time
The Simple Simon Christmas make me jam, jam, jam
[Verse 6: Will1X]
Yo, what you want for Christmas?
Yo, black, I want some cash
So I can buy some indo, chronic, and some hash
[Verse 7: Atban Klann (Will1X & apl.de.ap)]
Yo, here comes the Atban Klann rough and rugged
With a rump-pa-bum-bum
A rump-pa-bum-bum
[Refrain]
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
And have a fucked up New Year
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
And have a fucked up New Year
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
And have a fucked up New Year
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
And have a fucked up New Year
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
Merry motherfuckin' Christmas
And have a fucked up New Year
[Outro: Eazy-E & Mother]
You bitch!
And they all went to prison, and lived fucked up lives ever after
The end...
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