Before

Glittering lake under a splintering dock
I get a piece of it
To take home
And I pick at the wood, under skin sunlight slip in
And spin in new days while I stood

In a moment I'll try to recapture
Through mushrooms and speeding through stop signs and bleeding
I wish there were things I never understood

The time before knowing
The silence preceding a knock at the door
The light 'til shadows cast on me over and over again
Oh, to be smaller again
To pretend

A beautiful wake
I cried too long and too late
After the service, for the kids running fast
Through the manicured lawn, untouched by what had been lost
Just for a moment, though I know it'll pass

Losing is so long
All my love stuck in a time that will always be gone

The time before knowing
The silence preceding a knock at the door
The light 'til shadows cast on me over and over again
Oh, to be smaller again
To pretend

Though it is fleeting in theory
A body remembers a notch in the wood
Though I was too young to have understood

The beauty in the time before knowing
The silence that I could afford to endure
The light before shadow brought me a comfort that I can ignore
I can't live in before
Anymore