Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet

[Verse 1]

Mr. Sandman showing his beam

When he walks into the room, the walls lean in to listen

Surfed-out brain waves flick back and forth

Like old headlights sniffing model glue again

Head like a steel trap, wish I didn't, I didn't

I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I don't

Just want to be a footnote

In someone else's happiness

[Pre-Chorus]

Does your husband know the way that

The sunshine gleams from your wedding band?

Does he know the way, does he know the way

Of the crickets that would convince me to call it a night?

[Chorus]

But I will never end up like him

Behind my back, I already am

Keep a calendar, this way you will always know

The last time you came through

Oh darling, I know what you're goin' through

The last time you came through

Oh darling, oh darling, oh darling

[Verse 2]

Aww, tempest in a teacup, get unique

Peroxide princess, shine like shark teeth

It's a sign (It's a sign), it's a sign (It's a sign)

It's a sign, what if you peaked early?

[Pre-Chorus]

And does your husband know the way that

The sunshine gleams from your wedding band?

Does he know the way, does he know the way

Of the crickets that would convince me to call it a night?

Does he, does he know the way

I worship our love?

And does your husband know the way

That the sunshine gleams from your wedding band?

[Chorus]

But I will never end up like him

Behind my back, I already am

Keep a calendar, this way you will always know

The last time you came through

Oh darling, I know what you're goin' through

The last time you came through

Oh darling, oh darling, oh darling

[Bridge]

Oh, does your husband know? Does your husband know?

Does your husband know?

Does he know? Does he know?

Does he know?

[Chorus]

But I will never end up like him

Behind my back, I already am

Keep a calendar, this way you will always know

Oh, the last time you came through

Oh darling, I know what you're goin' through

The, the last time you came through

Oh darling, I know what you're goin' through