Learned Behavior

I've gotta get outta here

Sometime or another

Get off my ass make my way back to work

Cat-sitting doesn't call for undivided attention you know

I know

I've seen too many fall apart this way

I swore I wouldn't add to the tally

If we're true to the narrative I'm no different

I'm just another graduate

Starving for work however she can get it

I came home from a gig that made me hate music

I'm signing a lease that I can't afford with my friends

Ain't this the dream

To be floating a family

While they fight over money

I'd go broke to put an end to it to give them something else to do

Get me out of the middle

Haven't caught myself a break since I opened my eyes

Twenty-five years ago they called me beloved

And they spelled it all wrong

It's a beautiful sentiment

I've never felt less like it's true

For anyone that matters

So cut me slack I'm just trying to get back on my feet

Do the things I thought I'd have done by nineteen

I'm so hard on myself

Well I wonder if self-loathing's learned behavior

If so can I unlearn it too?

I tell everyone I love they're wonderful

They’re doing their best and I've never been prouder and I want to believe in me too

Maybe I could believe in me too