Ugly Side

I'm not my best today
And I'd be lying if I said it's probably a phase
I was born with a case
Of imperfections and a whole lot of mental disarray

I need to know why I'm Jekyll and Hyde
I wanna know what is up with me
I need to know why
I have these ugly sides
I get despicable for sure
I'd rather not have it show
Does that make me unlovable?

I feel it creeping up on me when I'm not watching
Uninvited, always there in my subconscious
There are parts of me I ghost
I suppress them for the most
If I could make them all go quiet, that'd be something

Keep calm and carry on
Wise words to live by, but I'm likely doing it all wrong
I can shine like the sun
But if I don't get it my way, next thing you know, the storm is on

I need to know why I'm boiling inside
I am the worst of me sometimes
I need to know why
I have these ugly sides
I get despicable for sure
I'd rather not have it show
I can be cute and loveable

I feel it creeping up on me when I'm not watching
Uninvited, always there in my subconscious
There are parts of me I ghost
I suppress them for the most
If I could make them all go quiet, that'd be something
Awesome
Awesome

Um, I don't know, I think I
I think I allow myself to be rude and mean
To the people I love the most and
The people I love the most are the ones who get the worst of me
And I don't like that, why is it like that?
I don't know
I'm dropping a new podcast soon so you can hear the rest of it