The Book of 2D

During the pirate attack on Plastic Beach, 2D hid in his underwater quarters. Unwittingly he'd made himself prey to a far fiercer foe: a great white whale known as Massive Dick (weirdly, no relation to Moby). The blubbery beast swallowed 2D in one bite, and swam into the deep.

But a lifetime spent eating ocean garbage – and now 2D – took its toll on Massive, and he died. His carcass washed up on a desert island, where 2D was finally free... to die of starvation, due to a total lack of survival skills. Unable even to catch crabs (which was more Murdoc's forte), 2D had no option but to eat his former host. Rancid whale blubber for breakfast, lunch and dinner. With a side of sand.

Several months later, 2D spotted a plane flying along the coast. Moved to tears by this beacon of hope, he set off in its direction. Twenty-three minutes later he was in the middle of a full-scale beach rave. It turns 2D wasn't marooned at all. He had in fact landed on Guadalupe, off the Mexican coast. 2D joined the beach party, ate some strange-tasting brownies, and came third in the wet T-shirt contest.

As he claimed his prize, 2D had a eureka moment. He would have a gap year and find himself. It turned out finding himself was really easy – he was right there. But he stayed the rest of the year anyway, until he got sacked from his job weaving friendship bracelets. It was time to fly home.

At Heathrow, a man at arrivals held up a sign saying 'Wanker'. 2D followed him to his car, which drove him to West London, where he was reunited with Murdoc, Russel and Noodle. Gorillaz were back.