The Certificate

[Intro: Trials & Suffa (Flak)]

Rap cats get served, murdered up, sliced

Every single night and that's the way we keep it right

Like that fuckers... (YEAH!!)

I'm just tricking though

Certified Wise in the house tonight (Certified Wise!)

Oi, when I say "Certified" you say "Wise"

We say Certified (Wise)

Certified (Wise)

[Verse 1: Suffa]

The Certified have arrived, extraordinaire extravagant

Beers like confidence, man I'm drinking until I'm arrogant

'Cause I'm a cocky fuck, hit your girl and I knock her up

Be like "what the fuck?", in the net like a hockey puck (score!)

Rappers get embarrassed when they see the way that we work

They try hide their shame like fat guys swimming in T-shirts

Research your Oz hip-hop before you step to us

And if you step, hands around your throat like a necklace

[Verse 2: Trials]

Mr Trials, young ladies gimme a call

My number's written next to fuck-wit on the chick's bathroom wall

I'm slightly easy and a tripe bit sleazy

With a wit of a red brick and chiselled body of Kim Beazley

My theory is, never touch the mic quite serious

A kid goes out on dates later than their next period

My crew's got it made, rocking the place

With more dope rappers to match every pram chilling at Colonnade's

[Verse 3: Edits]

It's Certified Wise, no need to tell you again

Because these cunts can be so funky that the smell would offend

A dyke's girlfriend, well then, let's get straight to the point, shall we?

This rowdy crowd of MCs and DJs know how to pound beats

Like kids with flat feet and crap beats walking down backstreets

So much work went into this the liner notes are fact sheets

Like Black Sheep I've got two words for those that slept

(nya, Nya nya no respect!)

[Verse 4: Mic Lez]

You thought it was safe, well guess what? (what?) best to beware

My plans will find your weak points (then what?) get up in there

Attack your mind, with a fine rhyme when I find time

And I'll find out if you're walking if you're talking the grape vine

I'll waste time. Need to take on the job at hand

The skills for this professional typical certified wise man

From sky to land, I'm overcoming all your schemes and plans

So take cover as I rain thunder upon you man

[Scratches: [?]]

"I manifest hip-hop in its highest degree"

"Certi—fied"

"Hip-hop's something I take very seriously"

"I so—socialise" "Certified" "Wise"

[Verse 5: Headlock]

Every song's a collection of kids' scarred lives

Like the porn section of Gary Glitters hard drive

Certified Wise throws agendas so hot

It'd make a married man give up his annual blowjob

You better show something, with Heady no bluffing

On the wrong side of my tracks, I'll smash your petticoat junction

In a suffering city, I'm punishing the pretty

And if you don't fucking kill me I'll crush you without pity

[Verse 6: Blockade]

I arrange certain words amongst silence

To be heard in abundance while MC's face redundance

Stereo speakers exceed beyond specifications

Through extended noise generations

Let's cut the conversations to a small chat

(Why's that?) I'm busy tryna react to the hi-hats

Blockade and Certified stand tall above ridiculous under-achievers

And constant non-believers (believers)

[Verse 7: Sesta]

I'm on stage with a handful of Panadols handing them out

'Cause of the head throbbing from the head nodding

And we about putting you out for the count like mic check

You ain't gonna get Certified respect

So hide your decks, your mics I might blackout

In a cipher when I still take the title

The name's Sesta, I snatch an 'L' plate

And slap it on your forehead with more force than porn sex

[Verse 8: DJ Debris]

It's the Hoodhist monks with the certified MC's

I'll make you nod your head like Parkinson's disease

So stand at ease, but don't step to our clique

I got a hundred metronomes just waiting to go sick

So take your pick, but not the axe or the shovel

After hours, I make beds rock like Barney Rubble

It's kinda subtle the way that my flow pours

And leave your ears up shit creek without a Funkoar

[Verse 9: Flak/Fatface]

Now Certified Wise got a hold of ya

We got the whole lot o' crop of magnolia

We're the fresh B-boys in Nike and Adidas

We're hotter than heaters and blowing up speakers

There's no half-steppers, we're far from a fake crew

We make rap music every Aussie can relate to

We'll never take a tumble, We're not gonna stumble

If you diss any member the result is "let's rumble"

[Scratches: [?]]

"Let me show you new rappers how to do a posse record"

"Let me show you new rappers how to do a posse record"

"Let me show you new rappers how to do a poss—poss—

Posse re—re—re—record"

[Verse 10: Simplex]

Complex compliments this simple, to complete this individual

Simplex the original beat, the hypocritical

Ridicule, the weaker techniques that leave you burnt

Like cannabis sativa, either

You do or you don't, we'll prove that you won't

Ever endeavour to get it together to better these fellas I'll be like whatever

You get it? You're wondering why you should never try

The reason Certified is Mr Nice with the wise guys

[Verse 11: Expressionist]

These crews stress, fully on a quest to be

Recognised, put up on a level next to me

And the Wise unified our lives, we bless the beat

We yet to see competitors who can compete with

Elaborate schemes they conjured up in their dreams

Have to be outta your mind to even battle this team

Masterminds of the game, nobody does it the same

When we leave the stage we're sure that you remember the name

[Verse 12: Kolaps]

You faggot MCs always compare one another

Studio 2000's where you shot your album cover

I provide patience to your shit dictation

Then commence domestic MC word castration

Like exitless effects from a psychedelic wanger

For you there's no escape like sperm in a franger

Simulated imitations fade away progressively

So go fuck yourself hermaphrodite MC

[Scratches: DJ Dyems]

"Yo this is DJ" "Dyems"

"Representing"

"Certified Wise"

[Verse 13: Trauma]

A dietarian, pages down, lyrical librarian

My strong line is carnivore, your line was vegetarian

Comparing them, I'm tearing them in two so don't you dare me then

Comparing them with them, I'm bringing heat like a solarium

You're staring then, you better step back while I'm preparing them

Certified lyrical delegates are all the sound-ions

Rebellions under one banner for new milleniums

The south is certified, it's so good like Sanitarium

[Verse 14: Integer/Artistik Intalekt]

I throw tempo-tempos, to scare those who dare oppose

Who don't compare the pros, I'm dressed in threadbare clothes

Still these rare flows got MCs pleading "Give us a fair go!"

Try to stop me, you don't realise the lengths to which I'm prepared to go

We should take a short journey and leave you at your wits-end

You get burnt like you're smoking a cigarette from the lit end

You're acting so feminine, you could be stressing about split-ends

Certified hit home with so much force they make bricks bend

[Verse 15: Hons]

The situation gets sticky like a perv with porn mags

My presence on stage will make your trailer horse gags

Staunch cat, horn bag, you know my style sucker

And that we make tracks to get you up like a fluffer

Certified wise, notorious to rip cunts

Dissing us will get costly like private shows at strip clubs

Beating me's a hard task by itself so fuck you

'Cause that's a fantasy like anal sex with Eliza Dushku

[Verse 16: Pressure]

This is my life and many come and go like one night stands

I treat live jams like a sermons, and in my mic hand

A holy get them ya bless ya, shit you never spit

The fresher shit than Pressure any means, risk or measure

This cut is deep, so pump a beat for my fucking peeps

I'm graded, X-rated the way that I come with tongue and cheek

We bring the ruckus like truckers in bar brawls

Certified Wise and we out like last calls