Little League

[Verse 1: Sarcastic spoken: Auto-tune]

Ah, yeah, this is my year baby

I feel like a real rapper now, like big leagues, man

Talk about Ciroc, what rhymes with ciroc?

(Michael clean up your room!)

Cock, cock

(Clean up your room your baseball cleats are all over the floor)

Mom, I’m recording for the studs, stud-stud Friday (go be a stud later)

Uh, I fucking hate my mom

Yeah, I got my eyes on you

I think you’re almost fifteen

I wanna motorboat on that tushie

Ciroc's on me, I’ll buy it all for you (I'll buy it all)

But please don’t show me I.D

I’m almost 28 but I’m thirsty

For frat parties

‘Cause we’re in Rhode Island you know it (Rhode Island)

My fans are all in little league teams (little league)

‘Cause we’re in Rhode Island and you know it

Jon Kilmer auto-tuned it for me

Just hold on we’re jacking flows

Just hold on we’re jacking flows

It’s hard to be original

Just hold on I’m jacking off

(Michael did you clean up your room?)

Mom, I will get to it, this is an original creation

I am a fuckin’...I’m not a fuckboy

I’m not a fuckboy, ok?

I fuck boys, but I’m not a fuckboy

(laughing) let’s go

[Interlude: Spoken regular]

Dude, I really didn’t want to do this

I’ve never seen somebody get so offended by one line

This dude still thinks he’s in high school and I think he’s 26

You ever seen Back To The Future?

I’m Marty McFly, and that makes you Biff

I apologize for any shared fans but I have to ruin his career

So you can just listen to me later, alright

[Verse 2]

Ayo, Mike Stud, white scrub

Thought you made a nice one

Coming after me? Well, where the fuck do you get advice from?

We could start a fight club, I’ll be Tyler Durden

Murder every rapper talking especially ones you ain’t heard of

I'm conflicted (why)

‘Cause I’ve given into this dipshit

Who’s just a carbon copy of everyone in this business

I’m playing sold-out shows, you ain’t playing with no hoes

Unless you count your fuckin’ crew because all them dudes is bitches

Look at your statistics, you ain’t selling tickets

Excuse me, but have you heard of Mike Stud? Crickets

For a strong dude, you make some fuckin’ weak shit

Hooking up with underage girls, homie that’s creep shit

If my girl's a five, your girl's non-existent

The only way you’ll get a full ride is hopping on this dick

Which you do, and that's just a mistake

You were an athlete at Duke you should be used to getting raped

Touring must be boring when your fans only react to popular 90's covers and never heard of your tracks

It’s like “We came here to dance, do molly and see boobies"

That's why the only ones at your shows are male groupies

And I’m a dork, yea I’ma Ivy League graduate

Well, at least I didn’t start rapping on accident

Make your fans disappear like a fucking magic trick

If my career's a dick, you’d be the only one that's grabbing it

You're less than average, and I ain't talking batting

When you try to swing at me I’ll fucking show you what a challenge is

You’re defenseless, let me finish your sentence

“It’s Mike Stud homie, sports reference”

[Interlude: Spoken Regular]

(Sports reference

Shit is honestly so predictable

You’re the lowest hanging fruit

Do you even know what that means?

Ugh, Nevermind)

[Verse 3]

I’ve inspired like millions of people with all my tracks

And you’ve inspired...uhhh...millions of Huey Macks

Yo congrats, I hope you hang yourself with a rope

Tie it to your best friend like you’re my boy blue, Nope

Peach Cirocs, you like Peach Cirocs, you be eating cocks

I'm leaping frogs, you an ugly prince you fucking need a job

Take your girl and lead her on, homie you been reading wrong

Honestly I’m just surprised that you can read at all

You’re the type of guy

To take a shower at the Y

And put your dick out with your friends

So you can all compare the size

I’m tired of this talking

Your shit is not appealing

I thought you were a pitcher why the fuck you catching feelings?

Think you’ve hit a wall better yet you’ve hit your ceiling

Wait ‘till Drake drops some new shit so you can steal it

I hate to break it to you but everyone thinks your rap sucks

I even asked your crew if you're whack and they’re like “Uhyup”

Quit while you’re already choking on dicks

This shit is comic relief and you ain't closer to shit

Quit while you’re already choking on dicks

This shit is comic relief and you ain't closer to shit

Hoodie